acrylic on canvas
If anyone has noticed, I am not producing as much work as usual…not by choice of course…..Here is my typical day since moving in with my mom and sister…(mom has glaucoma, sister has MS)…..
My Life…There’s no place like home…………….
I wake up about 5 am, thinking, ahhhh… a cup of coffee, quiet, thinking time, putting an agenda in order for the day, things I would like to accomplish, be it take care of bills, compose a painting, work on promos for an event I am planning, reply to emails, etc.. etc… etc……I tippy-toe around in order to brew that coffee, hoping, hoping, hoping…no one hears me yet…otherwise the demands and requests will begin….damn it! dropped the spoon, it’s all over now…HELENE!!!!! HELENE!!!! HELENE!!!!! (then in a passive aggressive tone)“When you get a chance, no rush, can you …….” 5 minutes or less later, phone rings, “Helene, when you get a chance … no rush…can you also…” few minutes pass, “Helene I also need…..but when you get a chance, no rush”… by the time an hour has passed, my “When you get a chance, no Rush” list is about as long as a 10 page book, my mind is racing, no room in my head to remember what I needed or planned on doing today, as I am now trying to remember who requested what, on my “when you get a chance, no rush list”. (mind you, if i do not get to the requests within a few minutes, i will then begin receiving passive aggressive “reminders” every few minutes, which really says, there is a rush, fuck when you get a chance…they are really saying “i want it now, but I want to sound polite about it in a passive aggressive manner”….so i think to myself, OK Helene, get the requests taken care of and maybe there will be some time left to do the things and to re-think my plans for the day….well….by the time I begin working on the “when you get a chance, no rush” list, more are spilling in by the minute, mind is so cluttered with everyone’s elses needs for their own agendas, I cannot even remember anymore what my own plans were…..then when as much is taken care of that is humanly possible,(which by the way, is never good enough) I am exhausted, in severe pain, can’t paint at this point which is my means of pain escape…cuz there is no “time” left, and my mind and body are so worn out….the day is over…..hmmmm… maybe i can take a pain pill…lay down, then get up when they are in bed? AM I OUTTA MY FREAKIN MIND?!!! No f*&$%ing way Helene! How dare you think so!!! phone rings…“are you still up Helene? If you can, when you get a chance”…………………………..