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Full of Empty

helene ruiz

Joined October 2007

Artist's Description

Acrylic on canvas board…Its 4 am ,,,, A wasting grief, a slow bleeding of the soul…My room is so quiet and empty it hurts to hear its echoes……is anyone there?

………………….
Cup of coffee
2, 3 maybe 8 cigarettes
Conversations with myself
Knowin what I would want to hear if someone other than me said it
but cannot even reply to my own conversation
Not an answer
Not a clue
Don’t know
Do know
Peekin behind my shoulder to look at that fuckin clock
tick
tock

Lightin another cigarette
Damn, gonna have to get to the store
need more cigarettes
Its only 9 am and a full pack is
almost
empty
….too….
“sighs”
Go to brush the coffee and nicotine off my teeth
damn, tube is almost empty
I squeeze it and squeeze it
a little comes out
Guess I gotta buy more of that too
I feel like this empty tube
Look in the mirror
Well, damn girl..it shows
it all shows
everything
shows
Fuck it
My hair is what it is
Put on my shoes
Out the door
Light another
cigarette
the last one
for
now
till
i
get
to
the
store
Tryin to focus on the things around me, the trees, the sky, the
clouds
Like it will stop my thoughts
doesn’t even make an impression
can’t clear my head
of anything
born fucked
been fucked
am fucked
all I can think of
is
damn, i love my grandchildren
they are the
only
reason
i
know

Artwork Comments

  • Isa Rodriguez
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  • BLACK-CROWN
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  • LisaBeth
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  • Valerie Anne Kelly
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  • MissingYou
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  • Kendra Taber
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  • eoconnor
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  • RaOrEmraeh
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  • Sally Omar
  • helene ruiz
desktop tablet-landscape content-width tablet-portrait workstream-4-across phone-landscape phone-portrait
desktop tablet-landscape content-width tablet-portrait workstream-4-across phone-landscape phone-portrait

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