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Windows of time

helene ruiz

Joined October 2007

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Artist's Description

acrylic on stretched canvas

Time is going by so fast it all seems like a dream…wow…how much is actually left? Everyone tries to save money for the future but how many actually realize the future will be gone in what seems like just another dream. Wow…how much time has been taken for granted..misused..wasted..unused..and it is so precious…truly precious, every single second of it….

How the painting began ….
 
I wake up….’bout 4am………feelings so overwhelming, tossin, turnin, visions that don’t go away……..trying to sort the feelings, almost impossible…some so different from the next…..so i list them in my mind, then i write em down, while listening to music……..Lonnie Liston Smith as a matter of fact….from the Expand ur mind album………… 
confusion 
disgust 
sick 
pain 
tired 
overwhelmed 
panic 
anxiety 
anxious 
angry, very ANGRY 
sad, very sad 
laugh 
cry 
isolated 
lonely 
unable 
unaddressed 
damn my hair’s a mess! 
and the fuckin clock! 
sirens outside my window 
i close the windows so not to smell the garbage and hear the damned rats scurrying around and fighting w/the street cats for scraps of food 
sounds of the homeless rumbling thru the trash to find cans and bottles to redeem a few cents so they can get something to eat or maybe more like…somethin to drink 
overwhelmed by a sense of helplessness 
radios playing from my neighbors windows 
babies crying 
people cursin 
fights outside 
drunks layin in their piss from their “friday-night” outings, sleepin on the concrete floors of this jungle made of 
brick and stone and tar and pure bullshit 
my music plays….some relief felt…tears fall..a cup of coffee, my 10th cigarette, maybe more like my 13th….who knows…who cares….whose counting…besides that damned clock, tick,fucking tock….subconciously settin up my canvas, paints, brushes, I put the music up a little higher as if it will block out reality 
feelin sooooooooo damned tired…..almost lethargic, yet unable to relax as though i have been drugged w/some type of amphetamine….where do i live? whats my address? do I have one? now what? fucking america…land of the “free” hahahahahaha….what a joke! perhaps the land of the rich w/the freedom to control everyone elses lives…. 
ahhhh…fuck…..let me paint…….so here i go….. 
 
Helene Ruiz 8/2009 

All Products Tags

dreams heart surrealism time

Artwork Comments

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desktop tablet-landscape content-width tablet-portrait workstream-4-across phone-landscape phone-portrait

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