the nightmares ...
some stream of consciousness about nightmares … punctuated later in the light of day …
the nightmares ... belongs to the following groups:
! Creative Writing & Poetry !, Beige is death!, Creative Spirits of Queensland , Feminine Intent (LIMIT TWO IMAGES PER DAY), Flash Fiction, Live, Love, Dream: May you have a Blessed Christmas Season , Midnight Ramblers, The Red Writing Room, THE SISTERHOOD and Up & Coming WritersTraces of my nightmares linger in my mind. The boundaries between sleep and awake are blurred. I see pictures, feel the fear…
They warned me. There would be dreams they said. I wasn’t scared then. I’d seen worse when I was awake. It would pass and I would sleep again.
Now I am scared to sleep. Weary. Fearful of the lingering dark, the savage death, the running, hiding, the fear …
The nightmares change but they are still the same. Someone is trying to kill me, to hurt me. I am running. It is dark, it is woody; it is forever.
Sometimes I am alone, sometimes there are others and we are all running, hiding …
I am going to leave; to live in the city where there is no darkness; no woods. The neon will protect me; the noise surround me.
What will it be tonight, where will they come from? I am so tired …
Matt Roberts
It is often the city that is depicted as being the bad place. Nice turning of the tables so to speak :p
Helen Corr replied
thanks Matt, and yeh, I know it is a common misconception that the countryside is benign and the city a bad place, but for city kids it is sometimes the opposite – the countryside is just down right freaky and the city reassuringly bright, peopled and safe! some of the worst horror movies are set in the countryside, in remote places popluated by misfits the city would reject … it may also have come from recent TV i saw where an ex-prisoner was hounded out of a few country towns by the so called decent folk, and oddly enough found refuge in the middle of a city …
Matt Roberts
Hmm, interesting. Question is, who would you rather take your chances with: the druggies and criminals of the city or the imbreds and hillbillies of the countryside (_I’m only going by what I see on TV by the way)?
Helen Corr replied
gimme the druggies and the criminals in the city anyday! i understand their language better – i once sought refuge in a pub behind a group of bikies because i understood that they would have no interest in me if i didn’t sit too close, and that others would be too scared of them to get in between them and me … so, some TV, some reality – comes down to the languages you can communicate in perhaps …
Matt Roberts
Well, I can speak retard so I’ll take my chances with the imbreds :p
Helen Corr replied
lol! good luck! and isn’t ‘retard’ subjective anyway?
Matt Roberts
Sometimes.
Helen Corr replied
how is this decided?
Matt Roberts
Well, some people are retarded, others just appear that way and so one could choose to call them a retard.
Helen Corr replied
thanks matt – it’s been interesting chatting with you – i am cursed with an undeniable curiousity about how other people see the world – probably why i chose to study anthropology and behavioural sciences … i notice you are a media student – i’ve often thought my ideal job would somehow combine anth. and some more creative way of expressing these ideas … as a kid i wanted to work for national geographic and travel around meeting people and representting these meetings in words and pictures- then i grew up and realised the perspectives were a bit too ‘big white hunterish’ for me ... ended up doing a thesis on governmentality instead, and studying my own culture – on the upside though governmenatility did lead me to Foucault – who has some very interesting ideas on how we see the world …
Matt Roberts
I see. My girlfriend does forensics and is currently looking at anthropology I believe. Sounds much more interesting than learning about films :/
Helen Corr replied
forensic anthropology would be a pretty cool job! but then i always enjoyed analysis of theatre, film and fiction as well – sounds like you two have the best of both worlds … :-)
Matt Roberts
Not really… I’m currently writing my dissertation :s
Helen Corr replied
i feel your pain … eventually it will end and you will become human again ;-)
Andrew Makowi...
Hi Helen Ive been reading this few times over the last few days. My thinking always comes back to the same thing and this is how it resonates in me.
I keep thinking there is something in me that is going to destroy me and my nightmare is being aware of that something. Its always there though if I keep busy or party I forget what is inside me.
I am getting tired of fighting this thing what if it overwhelms me. What if I let it. How can you fight your subconscious. How will it appear this time, what unhappiness will it cause me.
This piece affected me a lot because it made me think these thoughts. I hope I haven’t been too abstract but this is what this piece brought out in me.
All the best from Andrew
Helen Corr replied
I think you are spot on! if this wasn’t such a public forum I would offer you a better explanation – as it is – I can say that I have been getting to the root of this thing lately, and am getting on top of it – so far – awesome powers of deduction Andrew … I began to face it at the time the nightmares started … i.e. “they said there would be dreams” I am beginning to wonder if we have at some stage trodden the same path … and NO, abstract is good, it provides just enough distance to make most topics safe … did you notice that the pieces I have written since go in and out of the past – perhaps the references in them are too oblique for someone other than me to spot, but, they are all stories from things that have happened over the years … there are some that I haven’t published as they are still too raw – the final one I did about exercise is my attempt to embrace some of these aspects of self … I have realised that we can’t exorcise our problems – that is essentially a form of self denial, but we can exercise them – get them into a shape we can cope with, so I have put them on a fresh air and execise programme ;-)
Andrew Makowi...
I think maybe we have trodden the same path during our lives. Maybe thats the reason I have some understanding of your feelings and you of mine.
The idea of coping with your demons is interesting. For me I think I almost have to have a vice. This is an outlet for the self destruction, if we choose a minor vice which is not too bad the demon is kept busy hahha. They can’t do something very bad hhehe.
One thing for me is as I am getting older everything seems to be improving. Maybe my demons are getting old and mild,senile maybe.
I will have another read of your other writing and come back to you. Fresh air and exercise is always great to keep a demon happy hahah
Helen Corr replied
someone lent you my brain! I wondered where it got to when I wasn’t using it …