30 years of blooms
November 10th. Happy birthday, Mum. :)
I miss you more than words;
I understand that I could never understand;
I used to whisper “I forgive you…”
but now understand, that is not my place.
There is no need.
I love you eternally.
Happy birthday.
30 years of blooms belongs to the following groups:
! Creative Writing & Poetry !, ! ♥♥♥Love Is (Join us!)♥♥♥ !, "Poetry and Beautiful Women" , All Out Emotion, All Things Poetic, Artistic, Philosophical, Core [C.O.R.E], Creative, Talented, and Unknown, Inspired By Life, The Art of Pain, THE DIVINE FEMININE, THE SISTERHOOD, Up & Coming Writers and Vibration in Art and Verse - VAVoom!I guess it’s time to stop asking questions,
and start answering them.
Wipe away long dead evaporations,
mined trails overgrown with new
more current vines.
Time to remove the silver duct-tape
from the face of killed memory (the girl
in the cavern who sits, wide eyed and bound
at her skeletal ankles and wrists at the top
of the wicked peak, looking for a way out –
her green eyes wild and rolling
like thunder and mustangs at the edge
of the drop ,
looking for a way out of this
buried-alive, hell)
and replace it with white words whispered
into my own children’s ears.
I cannot judge you.
Just as I cannot judge her.
We are all together in this moment.
And although I’d love to be
the high and mighty mother who says,
“OH! I would never do that to MY kids –
never!”
I won’t.
I can’t.
No judgements here
for the one
who suffers
alone, in a world
of too many layers.
Never say never.
I won’t give him the pleasure.
The one who turned you to glass; beat you
until you were nothing but sunlight
in your own mother’s memory.
She loved me as I love mine (including
the young one who waits for her savior with
the shining scissors, coming through
the dark like rebirth and deliverance
like a cool cloth on a charred brow).
So I will plant my Mother’s Day lilac tree
in her honor –
burying the questions,
honoring the love we shared
and still share.
We will leave our judgments at the door and sit
beneath its amethyst blooms
(my birthstone;
your given gift of insight)
exalting in the sacred heart of motherhood;
laughing until we cry,
feeding its deep roots
with memory.
© Kristin Reynolds 5 9 09
cosimopiro
A lovely ritual to go through. I built a garden rock wall to honor my father…..each day I worked on it I dedicated my thoughts to him. Lovely write Kristin.
Kristin Reynolds replied
very cool. it is healing, thank you, cos!
marieangel
Beautiful write and what a healing experience to plant a lilac tree….even though i have read of your pain you grow as the lilac tree will grow ….and so it is dear KRISTIN SO IT IS!!!
Kristin Reynolds replied
thank you, angel! xo
raymondoantonio
YOUR ABILITY TO EXPRESS THE MOST PROFOUND AND PAINFUL EMOTIONS IS A GIFT WE ARE SO FORTUNATE TO SHARE!! YOUR ABILITY TO FORGIVE IS DIVINE!! BRAVO KRISTIN!! XO
Kristin Reynolds replied
Awww, thank you dear Raymondo, you are always so kind. :) xo
lianne
Releasing the pain and choosing to live with happier memories and rituals is such a healing choice, Kristin, and it’s wonderful to think you are ready for that. Somehow, the knowledge that we are loved enables us to see love now even where we saw none before. May your lilac bloom forever.
Kristin Reynolds replied
Thank you so much, lianne. :)
Shoaib .
“We are all together in this moment”
awww wowww.. i know u still hold ur mom close to ur heart
and a happy birthday to her :)
so beautifully written kristen
you pour your heart out on these pages
Kristin Reynolds replied
and to you, Shoaib. :)
thank you so much, and I hope your day was a really awesome one.
xoxoxo
lupa
love you lots Lady K xoxoxoxox
Kristin Reynolds replied
and you, my lady L. xoxoxo
Christie Moses
Simply beautiful in every way….
Love you lady K
xoxo
Kristin Reynolds replied
You too dollface. xoxo
Coronus
right now i can not articulate what i want to say – this is a powerful poem that has left me speechless.
Kristin Reynolds replied
Wow, thank you so much, Jono. that makes me sad and happy at the same time, thank you. xo
bluewhite
Wow. So tender, so resigned, so healed, so redeemed. Just beautiful!!!!!
Kristin Reynolds replied
thank you, dear Lin. xo
msdebbie
So touching and beautiful K – this is a masterpiece from a dreamweaving wordcrafter xoxo
Kristin Reynolds replied
Really? thank you, hun. I like dreamweaving wordcrafter…that’s pretty dang cool. :) xoxox you rock.
Skypilot
When will the lilacs fragrant blooms be watered from above, with the shining droplets of springs first rain? the salt of dryed tears is choking its delicate roots…As every now and then I find myself broken and lost sitting at its base, remembering the last days of hope soon shattered. Days before things unlearned stole dreams of bright tomorrows, leaving only the empty freedom of a heart unable to share…her picture sits at the top of the stairs…today I stopped on my way up, looked into her eyes…and cried for us all…
Your heart flows to the page with a light that all men shall attempt in vain to covet, yet never truly know…or hold…leaving them only fleeting guesses….and always wrong
This is is one your most beautiful sad songs my dear, your words fill my heart ... x
Kristin Reynolds replied
Thank you Bob.
x
ArcadiaTempest
Ohhhh I feel so much for you reading this…like you have swung back into a painful memory just for a moment but enough of a moment for it to leave a little stain on your heart….and now you accept this with grace and courage and have desire to move forward with who you as a woman, mother, individual who is hoping to make a good fist of her life. This touches me deeply…..I have a vision of you as a young girl and I so want to take her some purple blooms of her very own and tell her that she has her own beautiful scent that will perfume her soul with many O’ many wonderous and beautiful things….XXX
Kristin Reynolds replied
my word, Karen Sue…you just always know what to say…your words and insight into my work (me) touches me deeply, thank you, beautiful. My little girl loves the flowers. :) thank you thank you thank you.
xoxoxoxox
JaneSolomon
Beautiful Kristin. There is such healing in forgiveness. xxx
Kristin Reynolds replied
Oh, yes. I forgave and I could literally feel the heavy shadows lift off of me. it is a beautiful thing. xo
hsien-ku
to hold the emotional vividness of intense memory in one hand and forgiveness in the other – that is alchemy. we contain a whole battlefield within ourselves. the sage, externally calm, holds the most furious war inside – it means nothing to love where no barriers are constructed, but to pour love over broken glass is a transforming and transcending act. wonderful writing kristin, the friend in me wants to weep, the essence friend in me wants to smile. x
Kristin Reynolds replied
Damn, woman. You were born a poet. :)
alchemy? Brilliant. and so very true.
The friend in me is so thankful to have your friendship and love, and the essencefriend in me is smiling right back. Amazing how that is. Not many believe me when I say I am thankful for all I went through…they gave me my armor for the holy war…I am so thankful for that, and them who taught me the hardest lessons and gave me the most beautiful gifts.
x
JRGarland
Battlefields are won the moment we show mercy, the ultimate form of forgiveness. You show that in your walk and in your words. Well done, the battle is won.
Kristin Reynolds replied
Thank you dear, sweet man. xox your heart is so beautiful.
Cassidy JK (Ra...
You have expressed your feelings so well here in this piece. I hope it was healing for you and that you remember her beauty (and it’s in you)...xoxo
Kristin Reynolds replied
indeed it was, thank you Cass.
I know…I know it very well. :)
you make me smile. x
Erika .
oh I am almost in tears….xxx
Kristin Reynolds replied
awww, i love you, girly. xo
Del Millar
My Mum died 3 years ago on nov 10.
I shed a tear or two yes. I have my special moments with Mum.
Whatever the past disappointments there is freedom in forgiveness
and smiles happen to rest in the moment with oxo
Kristin Reynolds replied
I’m so sorry for your loss, Del. :(
yes indeed. the freedom in forgiveness is a beautiful beautiful thing. xo
Blanchot
Your mother would be amazed at the woman that you have become: beautiful, compassionate, brilliant, loving, and with an infinite capacity for forgiveness. You are the most beautiful woman I know; you are THE one! I love you, Me
Kristin Reynolds replied
Thank you, RBG. :)
THE one is smiling, despite this damn heartburn from hell. :)
love you, too. me-girl. xo