The Mourning of an Aging Songbird

Author: Kristin Reynolds
Word Count: 391
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The Mourning of an Aging Songbird

This is a repost. I tried in vain once again to link this poem to the other one through a journal…but, it seems (as I suspected!) I’m too dumb to actually make it happen. :) I can accept that.
So…here it is, posted again; as the last time I posted this for my beautiful grandmother, I had just joined the bubble, and not many read it.
I wanted my Gran read. She raised me after my mum died when I was 7 (and had lived with us most of my young life before then) – i miss them both more than words can say, as you can imagine.
thank you for reading. :)

The Mourning of an Aging Songbird belongs to the following groups:

# 1 ARTISTS OF REDBUBBLE , ! Creative Writing & Poetry !, ! ♥♥♥Love Is (Join us!)♥♥♥ !, "Poetry and Beautiful Women" , All Out Emotion, All Things Poetic, Artistic, Philosophical, Core [C.O.R.E], Creative, Talented, and Unknown, Everyday Life, Inspired By Life, Light In The Darkness, Masterpieces: Literary Workshop, The Art of Pain, The beauty of poetry, Up & Coming Writers, Vibration in Art and Verse - VAVoom! and WMG

From the kitchen
lips and tongue singing
as a 5 am songbird.
Dough rises,
and falls
about your arthritic, yet
nimble fingers;
fingers that never
forget how
to dance…

CJOB maintains the age of conversation,
(amid the oldies)
aboard its Midwest airwaves;
morality and whistling engaged
in a time that
stands,
as one eternal station,
where the train
never comes.

Mandarin oranges sting
with what is lost
slicing at moments with acidic misgivings;
when I would have rather had you walking
a few steps behind,
than be seen with an aged mother
replacement.
(I only wanted her, you see – no one else
would do)

The bite is too much.
The Mandarin mocks me with its thick
but thin skin.
Family, Christmas –
decorating into the night
(none of these called you
Mother;
the rabid adolescent took care of that
o’ but now, you are, you are, you are!)

I see you, despite the lies.

Your fragile heart
circles
about my practiced heart,
beating it down
to ashes;
burnt orange nightmares
that shall never see
the light
of day.

III

Photographs of relations,
with you,
center stage abound
on lengthy tables;
aside dainties, finger sandwiches
and prolific tears
in this mausoleum of death.
We gather
to remember your life.

I break then

for the things I cannot take back
from unmarked graves.

The clock chimes into
the next,
resounding through another kitchen,
another face,
another’s lips –

I am mistaken
for her.

Making your revered
chocolate macaroons today,
with your great-grandchildren’s
fingertips dipping into ages,
eating the taste of you;
the way of you;
drowning in the loss of you,
I cry remembering you
and how you whistled
like a 5 am songbird
while you wept for the daughter you lost;
the granddaughter who mourned her;
and the fruitless raw fact that you could not
go back.

Smiling, as you hide your tears

I catch myself whistling now,
when I least expect it.

How alike we are,
in our separateness; found
within recipes;
wishing
in the sanctity
of the kitchen.

I catch my reflection then:
I look just like her,

(o’ how that must have stung!)

but I whistle,
just like you.

Songbirds have no regrets,
only the instinctual need to sing
for their own.

raymondoantonio

AN ELOQUENT TRIBUTE FROM A BEAUTIFUL HEART TO A BEAUTIFUL SOUL!!! BELLISSIMO!!!!!!! XO
Kristin Reynolds replied

thank you, sweet, kind, compassionate man. :) xo
Normaje

Very lovrly and touching to the soul, memories are not easy to forget, all love
Kristin Reynolds replied

thank you, lovely lady. :) indeed. xo
lianne

I am so grateful that you reposted this Kristin – (I think sometimes we ought to pull up those poems we posted we back then that no one ever saw!) This is not only a lovely and very moving tribute to someone so very dear to you, but as poetry, it stands in a class by itself. There is such depth here, so much honest self-appraisal and the memories captured in such vivid images that I can almost see your grandmother, see you as you were. What love here!
Kristin Reynolds replied

Thanks, Lianne. :) she was The Rock. boy do i miss her…xo
autumnwind

A beautiful spellbinding tribute I remember well. She knows Kristin, she knew then. With so much love. xoxoxo
Kristin Reynolds replied

Thank you dear woman whom i love. xo
Christie Moses

OH K this brought tears to my eyes. I remember reading this one before but it never ceases to touch my heart in its beauty, elegance and respect. You always paint such vibrant words but the longing and love in this is so vivid it hurts. Love you to the stars xoxo
Kristin Reynolds replied

thank you dead heart, really, that you for feeling it. :) xo
valentina63

Oh Kristin this is so moving and such a lovley tribute to your grandmother. Its made me cry . And those last lines “Songbirds have no regrets,/only the instinctual need to sing for their own” Beautiful.You sing amazing skillfull songs through your poems and are a truly a wonderful heir to the song-bird tradition into the next generation. I am so pleased you posted this.
Kristin Reynolds replied

Thank you so very much, Valentina. :) I’m so glad it touched you. wow, I’m glad, too. thank you for this, love, K xo
erich biemer

a poem of deep connections…..thank you for sharing…
namaste
Kristin Reynolds replied

Thank you so much, Erich, yes indeedy, family..what more?
trwoody

No matter how far we run, in denial, pain, or resistance love still covers and envelopes us as we grow to realise the important things of life. Beautifully written tribute….to find the legacy of your mother and your grand mother inside you as you pass that legacy to future generations
Trenchtownrock

I am at a lost of words..truly I am….this is just incredible…..a treatment for a novel I do believe.
Kristin Reynolds replied

Thank you, kind sir. :) one day…I still have to finish my almost finished novel, first. it’ll happen…when it’s supposed too. xo
JaneSolomon

Deeply touching and beautiful Kristin! xxx
Kristin Reynolds replied

Thank you kind lady. :) xo
Coronus

The only way I can fully articulate the beauty and depth of work llike this is to feature it!
Kristin Reynolds replied

You are so awesome, thank you!!!!!
this one was hard to write, many tears, but it felt so good to let it out.
thanks, Jono, for seeing something within it. :) xo
JRGarland

I can relate to this very well thinking of my grandfather and me. I had not known him as long as you knew your gran, but the impact is every bit as dramatic in my life. Well done and congrats on the feature.
Kristin Reynolds replied

Thank you so much, JR. Family…there is nothing better in life. that is true love. xo
Cassidy JK (Ra...

I love your love for the important people in your life. When we turn to dust and set our souls free, in the end, it’s the love in our lives that mattered. I love how you write. Xoxo
Kristin Reynolds replied

Thank you sweet Cassidy. :) xo
Yes indeed. I hate that it took me so damn long; so much self pity and being angry at the world as a teen to see what that woman had done for me! she saved my life! I’m just eternally glad that I got a few years in to tell her often how much she’d done for me and how sorry I was, etc…and how much i love her, before she died. she was a rock. she saved me. I miss her. :)
thanks, C. xo
hsien-ku

wow – kirstin – this is a real masterpiece. such a beautiful poem, so full of memory – i could smell the macaroons, hear the whistling. you have communicated such genuine impressions of love and warmth that they are almost made manifest in flesh by the strength of your words. you have created something truly extraordinary here!
Kristin Reynolds replied

Wow right back. Thank you so much, Hsien. This was a really hard poem to write, but, like almost all my poetry, it just bled out onto the page. that deep deep quiet coming through in words. I’m not aure what I’d do without the ability to write out my pain; I think I’d shrivel up like an old prune and turn to dust within seconds. :)
it helps, the purging.
Thank you, H.K, your comments always mean so much. xo
Michele Markley

A beautiful tribute to your Gran. Thank you so much for reposting it, I would have been sad to have missed it.
Kristin Reynolds replied

aww, thatnk you so very much. that really means alot to me, as she did. :) xo
lazydaze

touching! well written
Kristin Reynolds replied

thank you so much! :)
hollypaino

This sounds like words I needed to, but never said, to my own mother. Wow.
Kristin Reynolds replied

I know. I’m sorry.
xo
Michele Markley
Kristin Reynolds replied

Thank you so very much, I’m honored. :) xox
Skypilot

I’ve got to call my grandmother!
so beautiful kris…
xxB
Kristin Reynolds replied

yes, you really do! please call her!!!!!!! xo
Tanya Keefe

Excellent work!
Kristin Reynolds replied

thank you, Tanya. :)
silvercircles

A beautiful poem . . . Love the 5AM songbird theme . . . = )
Kristin Reynolds replied 24 days ago

thank you so much. i’m so sorry this comment came so late!
xo
franticflagwave 24 days ago

A beautiful tribute to the affections of one’s heart, In the end, all any of us really have is our valued relationships. We must of necessity live and breath them without regret! Lovely poem!!!
Kristin Reynolds replied 24 days ago

hi there. :)
thank you very much. I know…it’s so hard. but yes, the giving and recieving of love is most important.
xo