His Hands, and the Way of Green Sea Glass

Author: Kristin Reynolds
Word Count: 549
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His Hands, and the Way of Green Sea Glass

This is a poem about my current situation, as told from my stand-point to my almost Ex husband. about being crushed by an alcoholic sucking my soul for so long and almost forgetting what it was like to be alive, loved, respected, listened to, and unafraid to speak.

To have, after the better part of 15 years of that, to have found a man, a real man, who actually wants to hear/read what I have to say, and love me for who i am not what they needed to covet or to make to feel small…and how wonderful and alive I feel because of him. :) Thank You!

His Hands, and the Way of Green Sea Glass belongs to the following groups:

# 1 ARTISTS OF REDBUBBLE , ! Creative Writing & Poetry !, "Poetry and Beautiful Women" , All Out Emotion, All Things Poetic, Artistic, Philosophical, Creative, Talented, and Unknown, Everyday Life, Insomniacs and Other Night Crawlers, Light In The Darkness, Masterpieces: Literary Workshop, Soul Mates, The Art of Pain, The beauty of poetry, Up & Coming Writers and WMG

How am I supposed to feel about your fragile state,
when all you even did was tap, tap, tap
my fractured glass
with your diamond-head hammer,
in fast
and
slow
arcs,
until I was but a crevasse;
a black-eyed gap;
an open-glass sore left to fester
upon
your own,
closing wounds?

Tell me.

Now that you see the monster
you were
are/was…one can never really tell
to me, for all of those walking on eggshell years,

did you really think I wouldn’t let another
in
through my broken window;
lift the curtain on my own death;
kiss me whole
while filling my open mouth
with sunrise and shocking new orange possibilities;
while he points out
(tasting wind, sea, and blue sky against his shine)
with golden fingers, the birth
of our new day?

Did you really expect me to stay broken?
Allowing you to masking tape
the myriad of cracks I allowed you
to re-brake
for far
too
long,
while you build a crystal ladder to the God’s
out of my every, rainbow shard;
sculpting a new you out of my discarded,
diamond dust?

I’m sorry…

But our new day set
long ago.

You pulled it down, remember?
Threw your dark rope around its core
like the sadistic, drunken universal renegade
you deemed yourself;
you ripped its orange heart from the blue;
(the sound, so like ripping cloth, burning my light black)
then drowned it in bathtub gin, with an ocean’s taste
of micro-brewed beer for good measure;

while I watched you and your shaking eyes,
sizzle me dead;
while un-recording
your every movement
until it was as lost
as I felt.

You never saw my discarded, empty shell
tossed like so much trash
thrown
upon your Fijian beach, did you?
Leaving me for the gulls; sharks
and the sea
to have their way with me?

But I was found.

Oh yes.
I was found by someone who recognized
my shape;
who wanted
me whole –
not only my soft,
smooth
deliciously sweet curves;
but also my sharp
and cutting edges –
who saw me as a truth uncovered;
not as a truth unheard
who picked me up
as a, didn’t even know I needed it until I found it
and now I swear, I will never let it go, treasure;

Not as the pieces of an old Heineken bottle:
as broken as the man who threw it away; the one who left
it behind in the first place…

as a sparkling green gem, polished
by the ocean, sand, and every tear
that named it:
treasure.

O’ yes, I was found, all right.

Did you really think I would take you back?
After you tossed me away
like a drunkard’s last deed?

How could I possibly ever trust you,
with my re-discovered treasure –
the brightest sunrise you’ve ever seen
when you only ever saw me as a reminder
of your darkest days –

like the bothersome recyclables that had piled up.

Sorry.

But broken glass refracts
and multiplies in sunlight –
even more so broken,
than as one
continuous piece.

Or did you think me so broken
that I’d just accept
my cracks,
in return
for no more hammering?

Blanchot

You can only imagine the iridescent sunrises to come, my dear. R
Kristin Reynolds replied

Yes, indeed. :) I am all in for the sunrise special. :) cannot wait for every new day. thanks, dear! love, K X
jim marshal

jesus, this is like an exorcism or something. Em-POWERING in every sense of the word. I raise a glass to you and your new life….
Kristin Reynolds replied

lol yes, it really is. it was a long time coming, but man, was it worth every second for what I learned, who we created, and what I gained in the end. :) you know…:) thanks, amn, love, K X
raymondoantonio

ANOTHER WONDERFUL WOMAN WHO HAS FOUND FREEDOM AND A NEW BETTER LIFE!! ALL POWER TO YOU KRISTIN AND TO HAPPINESS!!!
Kristin Reynolds replied

WOOHOOO! right on, my rightious friend! here here, freaking cheers to that! thank you infinitely. :) love, K X
autumnwind

So happy for you. But so sad for all the years of not being appreciated and loved for you. A form of abuse in my opinion. But now…”as a sparkling green gem, polished
by the ocean, sand, and every tear
that named it:
treasure.” Oh, how glorious. My heart and soul cries for joy for you, for both of you. I adore this freeing write, and of course, it’s author! xoxoxo
Kristin Reynolds replied

Don’t be sad…i have 5 gorgeous children, and so many life lessons under my belf, I could start a whole frickin school! no, be happy. that’s it. i love you, K
lupa

OMFG who saw me as a truth uncovered, not a truth unheard….Woman, you are f@#*in GLORIOUS!!! This is absolutely beautiful…..onward and upward honey-you and your delicious curves,cutting edges and that amazing pen of yours…xx
Kristin Reynolds replied

you are really really good at leaving comments, thank you! lol you rule and yes, onward and upward! woohoo!
AngelMay

That is fantastic, good on you, wishing you a better life ahead and a future filled with happiness!
Kristin Reynolds replied

Thank so much for that, that means alot. :) love, K
linaji

Did you really expect me to stay broken?
Allowing you to masking tape
the myriad of cracks I allowed you
to re-brake
for far
too
long,
while you build a crystal ladder to the God’s
out of my every, rainbow shard;
sculpting a new you out of my discarded,
diamond dust?
Nothing as heavy as living with an alcoholic.. but as my girlfriend reminded me yesterday of all my love juice and the time spent on my part that seems now just thrown back in my face as a facade .. reading your brilliant work just makes me feel quite close to my own anger and resentment of that which I attracted yes.. however.. that which I choose not to feed any more.. You piece is over the top amazing.. your abilities ,, far reaching.. sending you joy hugs…OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Kristin Reynolds replied

Wow. yes, nothing quite as heavy. dark, or all consuming. I felt dead inside. a zombie. thanks god that’s over..and the best part? he’s stopped drinking. :) even though it’s over…I’m very proud of him. :)
linaji
Kristin Reynolds replied

THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOHOO! love you! K
JRGarland

A soul can only take so much pain and suffering. I’m so glad you got into a heling life now. Very well written piece.
Kristin Reynolds replied

Thanks, JR, indeed. my mother didn’t get out…I had to, for both of us. :) love, K
ArcadiaTempest

Your free….in more ways than one….this affirms you in your freedom. Such a full blood of determination to be you…Bravo to u XXX
Kristin Reynolds replied

thanks, KS, and if I am anything at all on this earth, it is determined! you have no idea. I am a freight train, comin through! choochoo! lol love, K :)
Shoaib .

my god kdizzy… this one left me jsut that…. wow this is one of my absolute favs of yours … theres so much intensity, so much of YOU that you pour into this, and despite it all, you write it like a true writer, unique in your style and just freaking amazing as always… wish you the absolute best
shoaib
Kristin Reynolds replied

dizzy, eh? wow! awesome! God knows that’s how I wanted this poem to effect you guys, droppin like flies. lol

glad you liked it, man. :) I’m glad you saw me peeking out from between the lines…:)

you are too kizzind, dude, thank you. :) you’ze da bestest, too. :)
erika15

Amazing....this so empowering. So glad you found a ‘new day’...xx
Kristin Reynolds replied

Thanks, girl. :) me too. love, K X
Christie Moses

This one filled me with a blinding light and suffused me with strength. I FEEL you, my beautiful talented wonderful friend! I know this poem and it, like you, is brilliant! There really is only ONE Kristin Reynolds! Gotta go in my faves! Love and HUGS C
Kristin Reynolds replied

AWESOME! love that you felt me there, too. :) as is there, but ONE, miss Christie Moses. :) you are a shining gem. love you, girl. :) K
Cassidy JK (Ra...

Incredibly strong and important writing. One day that ex will realize he had the winning lottery ticket and lost it.
Kristin Reynolds replied

thanks so much. the sad thing is…he already realizes that. It sucks. but damn, that’s where the saying “too little too late” comes from…it just IS.

thanks, hun. :)
Songwriter

Wow! Although this is painful to read, I feel as if it has been written by a very strong and brave woman full of heart who is determined to be seen as such. I see you. Hooray! :0) Song
Kristin Reynolds replied

Well, thank you so much for that, i appriciate it. :) I must say, you read me quite well. :) I see your heart in this comment. :) hooray, indeed. :) love, Kristin
Matt Penfold

You’ve really taken the bit and galloped with it Kristin, this certainly reveals your fire and determination, good for you. I found it exhilarating to read and so uplifting, great writing (and thinking)
Kristin Reynolds replied

thanks so much, Matt, that means alot. :) it was a hard write, but a liberating one…sort of like life, i guess…if you choose to live. :) love, Kristin
Skypilot

As the drunken fool whos winning lottery ticket is blowing along roadside, I have to say HOLY SHIT!!!- That really was some powerful mojo honey, really! There are no chains that could ever bind the writer of that absolutely exellent display of raw power. If you were ever a storm cloud, that, my love, was most your most blinding bolt of lightening. Not the first I;m afraid to say,(I’ve read most of them by now), but hopefully your last- You truly shine.Like the sun, I’ll always think of you as mine, but in truth the entire Earth is yours.
Kristin Reynolds replied

Is this where I say, thank you?
I know I’m a hurricane…one best not get caught up in it, lest they be torn to ribbons. I’m sorry…that last line of the comment…thank you. :)
I know.
xo