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The Monkey's Truth

Okay. There’s this chick who works for NASA.

she looks after the monkeys there.

Names one ‘God’ because she’s religious,

The monkey is a pregnant female.

NASA says they want to see what space does to pregnancy or something and sends the monkey into space…


the shuttle drifts into a black hole

the hole takes her to an alternate universe that’s empty and it multiplies her intelligence by hundreds n thousands and awakens that other percentage of the brain that we apparently don’t use.

so to kill time, the monkey decides to make a planet ! clicks her fingers.. BANG

then populates it with animals, and makes monkeys the highest species. in her image.

but the bang that was her making the planet sets off evolution

and the monkeys evolve into people. and these people invent religion. And she saw that it was bad.

so to straighten em out the monkey, God, sends her baby, ‘Jesus’ to tell them to go away n leave the monkeys as rulers of the planet but Jesus evolves and is brainwashed into religion

then the people kill Jesus the monkey boy for being too good at their religion

that pisses monkey off , She punches a hole in the wall and leaves.

then the people decide to explore space n send a monkey who drifts into a black hole that monkey god made when she punched the wall in anger over the people…

a monkey called god.

Currently unavailable for purchase

A short and twisted comical theory story about a Monkey.


  • pauldrobertson
    pauldrobertsonabout 7 years ago

    heh cool.

    oh we do use all our brains btw… that we only use 20% was an idea popularised by dale carnegie in the earlier half of the 20thc and beyond. his dr thought that this was the case. in the 20’s.

    in all my musings and rantings and wank over religion, i had not considered god a monkey.

    well god would be nice FURRY and into bananas.


  • LostBoy1
    LostBoy1about 7 years ago

    OOOH OOOH AAAAH AAAAH…mmmmm…bannana!!! ;P

  • hatefueled
    hatefueledabout 7 years ago

    and a female monkey at that!

  • pijinlane
    pijinlaneabout 7 years ago

    Thought provoking with the percentage of my monkey brain I don’t use! haha!

  • hatefueled
    hatefueledabout 7 years ago

    he he thanks

  • LostBoy1
    LostBoy1about 7 years ago

    on rollerskates?…nah…rollerblades!

  • hatefueled
    hatefueledabout 7 years ago

    hell yeah, we love those blades! misses going ice skating

  • monhiver
    monhiverover 6 years ago


  • :D thanks!

    – hatefueled

  • Mel Brackstone
    Mel Brackstoneover 6 years ago

    Well I’m always chimping….. I like this story!!!

  • :D thanks!

    – hatefueled

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