How many of you believe in ghosts and the supernatural? I know I do. I believed before my son passed away, and now I don’t just believe I KNOW. When My boys were young, we made a pact that whoever died first would come back and let the rest know if there was life after death. Well I always thought it would naturally be me.
After Matthew passed away, both my oldest son and I experienced supernatural occurrences . Jason heard odd tapping on his walls. And I did too. He’s even talked to Sylvia Brown. I don’t know how much he’s experienced because we don’t talk anymore. Matthews death for some reason pulled us apart rather than bringing us closer. I think he doesn’t know how to relate to me now. And I feel real bad about that. I love him and miss him too. And I want to be close to him again. But this blog isn’t about that. So lets move on.
My first experience was Three days after Matt died. I had been going in his room and laying on his bed with his blanket and pillow smelling his scent and just crying. On that third day. I really felt him in there. It was a really heavy feeling. Where as before it felt like we were cut off from each other. It kind of scared me, so I got up and went into the living room. I felt better there. The next day I sent my husband in there to get something for me. I didn’t tell him what I experienced in there. I wanted to see if he would pick up on anything. When he came back he said that when he went in there he felt like Matt didn’t want him there so he hurried and got whatever it was I wanted and got out of there. He and Matt hadn’t been getting along well since Matt became a teenager and started getting into trouble. I believe him.That stuff went on for a few more days. In fact it got to where I would be so freaked out What I mean about freaked out is my hair would stand on end along my neck. I’d get Goosebumps and stuff. I’d run down the hallway past his room to get to mine. Other things were going on too. Like The tapping on the walls. At first I thought we had mice or something. I even had my husband and sister check and put out mouse traps. If I was standing at my kitchen sink there would be tapping on the wall on one side of me. I’d turn slightly and it would start on the other side. If I sat in the living room there would be tapping on the wall next to me. I wasn’t the only one hearing it. My mom, sister and hubby all heard it too. I believe he wanted me to acknowledge him. I guess I wasn’t ready yet. On the day of the wake, ( I gave my son a funeral he would be proud of. Baby blue and white, his colors.) After we got through and were home again and everyone was asleep but me. I was laying in bed awake (had been for three hours) I heard Matt call out to me from his room, like he did when he wanted me to get him something. I sat bolt upright in the bed, eyes wide as they can be. And said to him “ I cant I ’m not ready to let you go yet. “ That was it. I heard no more. The next day was the funeral. After the services and we were at the cemetery, My son was over the hole his was going to be buried in, the preacher said a few words. And me? I was sitting there just crying my heart out. Had Matthew’s father on one side and my husband on the other. I did not cry out loud I just had tears running down my face. My husband was concerned of course. I told him I would be fine. Anyway, next we said our goodbyes as I was standing there looking at my handsome red haired son, all his little girlfriends notes and small gifts tucked around him, I just wanted to hug him. Just one last time I was just about to climb up and in there with him when I heard him say from behind me into my left ear “ Mom do not embarrass me .” And I didn’t . I just petted his head kissed him told him how much I would miss him, and if one of those other two kids did this to him, I’d fight for justice for him to my dieing day. ( there is a lot I am not able to write about concerning the circumstances surrounding his death. Other than my son had a history with both of those kids and it was not all good.) After we got home I told my hubby and sister about it. Heard more tapping that evening. I couldn’t sleep. I waited until everyone was asleep, got up from the bed, cause he was tapping on the wall between our rooms and went into his room. I didn’t see anything I just felt a lot of things. I felt him around me, I knew his spirit was there. I sat on the bed where I sensed him the most. I said “ I guess its time to say goodbye“. That I didn’t want to keep him from the light of god. That he didn’t have to worry about me. I would find a way to be ok. I told him how much I loved him. That I would never forget him. That I would take care of his brothers. And get to the bottom of what happened. But now I was releasing his spirit to God. And he must go get his wings. I will love him forever. After that I felt the room clear. In the days that followed there was no more tapping on the walls. And everything was normal. Only different was my son was gone.
I do get “visits” from Matthew from time to time. But I’m saving those for other blogs. You can make what you want with what I’ve told you. I care not! I know what I experienced. I know I’m not crazy. I have always been sensitive to spirits or energy left by people who have passed away. I can also say I have never experienced any of that to this degree. The question remains. What do you believe?