self portrait using effects in Oloneo, Befunky, iPiccy, and finished off in Gimp.
Sometimes its easier to wear a mask of happiness and smiles instead of showing the world what truth lies below the surface. I do this often, not so much out of fear of rejection (although that plays a part), but more-so because I have been doing it for so long, I dont know any other way. I’m not one of those folks that is depressed as in SAD – this is clinical depression, and although sadness plays a part in the condition, it is NOT sparked by something sad happening and me reacting to it. Clinical depression never goes away. The medication only masks (as in this metaphoric photo of me smiling while engulfed in chaos and doubt and self loathing, represented by the harsh lines coming out of my head) the symptoms, but the condition (disease) is always there, always present, and never ever EVER lets me forget that it is living inside my mind, heart and soul. (and being hiv poz for 21 years, that doesnt help my mood!!! But I try. I really do!)
I know your pain as far as the clinical depression goes. You inspire me to go on Scott. Thank you.
And I am not a strong person, where this is concerned. I am a bit of a fraidy cat, but with determination and conviction and drive, I make it happen. I have to – a conscious effort. It doesnt come naturally, but I have people (well, some) convinced that it is the truth, only those closest to me know the real deal. Thank you for allowing me to inspire you and to start respecting and loving yourself more. If I can do it, you (and anyone else) surely can. xoxox
I really admire your inner strength and determination. I know all about trying to portray one thing while being another, afraid I’ll scare people away. Afraid of crumbling to pieces.
I was too – thanks to my therapist, I’m only still a little scared instead of terrified, like I used to be.
As long as you look o.k on the outside it is hard for people to understand what is going on in the inside, I have suffered depression for many years and it is so hard for non sufferers to understand. This is lovely work and keep inspiring people..x
Even my dad thinks its all in my mind, and I try to tell him “Yes, dad, exactly, it IS my mind.” He doesnt see the connection – odd for someone who was in the pharmaceutical business (He worked for DuPont Pharma) for 46 years. Thank you for that inspiring comment. :))xx
Comments
Cool
Thanks Donna!
– Scott Mitchell
Cool. Well, at least you try; so many don’t.
I try every day – its still a conscious effort, though, it doesnt come naturally. :))
– Scott Mitchell
I know your pain as far as the clinical depression goes. You inspire me to go on Scott. Thank you.
And I am not a strong person, where this is concerned. I am a bit of a fraidy cat, but with determination and conviction and drive, I make it happen. I have to – a conscious effort. It doesnt come naturally, but I have people (well, some) convinced that it is the truth, only those closest to me know the real deal. Thank you for allowing me to inspire you and to start respecting and loving yourself more. If I can do it, you (and anyone else) surely can. xoxox
– Scott Mitchell
I really admire your inner strength and determination. I know all about trying to portray one thing while being another, afraid I’ll scare people away. Afraid of crumbling to pieces.
I was too – thanks to my therapist, I’m only still a little scared instead of terrified, like I used to be.
– Scott Mitchell
As long as you look o.k on the outside it is hard for people to understand what is going on in the inside, I have suffered depression for many years and it is so hard for non sufferers to understand.
This is lovely work and keep inspiring people..x
Even my dad thinks its all in my mind, and I try to tell him “Yes, dad, exactly, it IS my mind.” He doesnt see the connection – odd for someone who was in the pharmaceutical business (He worked for DuPont Pharma) for 46 years.
Thank you for that inspiring comment. :))xx
– Scott Mitchell
FANTASTIC SELFPORTRAIT ABSTRACT!!! FABULOUS!!!
Thanks so much, Anna!! xx
– Scott Mitchell
love it Scott. love you. you are such a beautiful, honest soul. ♥♥♥
luv u too, my sweet.
– Scott Mitchell