Ugly

Away with me, far from your company to powder my nose.
I look into the mirror and what do I see?
a fool staring back at me.
It was pure insanity.
The light flickered in the restroom, the water basin was stained
with foreign things, I figured to go about my business without
asking questions. Just apply, touch up and leave.

But merely scanning the details of my environment from the corners of
my eyes.
Exhaling, I go return to you, my shoulders bearing
a guilt.
A guilt far too familiar.
you smelled it on me.
I reeked of cheating.
time froze, in that very moment.
Beads of sweat fell along unmentioned crevices.
You seen it.

I didn’t have the heart to tell you, I was caught in the moment of breakfast.
We both knew this would be our last time together.
I tried to avoid your glance but there was the devil in disguise.

I was taken.
guilty as sin.
I wanted you, I had you,
problem was I wanted to keep you.
You had other arrangements.
other engagements, and baggage.

I looked into the pit of my drink,
skimming the lemon between my teeth, thinking;
“How ironic.”

I toyed with you,
and you played me.
one mask under another.
You refused to come clean.

My ruby red lips made marks across your flesh.
do you remember?
my claws trimmed along your back with desire.
do you remember?
with all the beautiful came the ugly.

I was drugged by you,
by your passion,
by your lust.
by your caress.
you never expressed how you felt,
but told others when I wasn’t present.
Spun stories, your true feelings, that didn’t include me.

I danced for you.
I lived for you.
where was mine in return?
The shoe did not fit,
and it wasn’t long before the show
came to an end..
only red curtains caught in the wind.

blow..
“blow..”
now a fading dream,
now just a memory.

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Tags:

addiction, sin and guilt