My parents were quite strict with me as I was growing up. I couldn’t watch cartoons on television, I wasn’t allowed comic books. After school, mum and dad made me sit down and read the classics. Wordsworth, Shakespeare, Shelly. Maybe they were thinking they were setting me up for achievements later in life, but all I remember at the time was that I wanted to read Batman and X-men comics like all the other boys in my class.
I so wanted to be like the other boys, that I used to go home in the afternoons and make up my own superheroes based on what I was reading. I used to pretend I was Ozymandias man, who had the superpower of making people realise all greatness is futile against the relentless passage of time. Other days, I would pretend I was ‘shall I compare thee to a summers day’ man, I would be out walking the mean streets (of Flemington), and see two thugs in an laneway picking on an old lady. I would jump out, address the two crims and say ‘Shall I compare you two to a summers day? Because, with the kind of behaviour you two are displaying, you’re acting nothing like a summer’s day. I can barely compare you to one at all.’ I would then laugh my mighty super hero laugh, and then usually get the shit beat out of me.
Growing up is hard.
Every kid wants to be a superhero