right down here on the guillotine

the humiliation is hiding
behind the high wall of Anger
for if there is no anger to galvanize
then the center of my Being
will just….capsize

here i am in this position again
it feels so fucking familiar
i know how to gloss over the hurt
to make excuses for everyone
but for myself the hatchets come out
there’s a little hollow eyed part of me
sitting in the corner and studiously
sharpening the blades
directing the Executioners
owners of the voices that say
yeah, i so deserve to be treated this way
a suspecting con man’s victim
laying her pretty head once again
right down here on the guillotine

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right down here on the guillotine by 

dark old hurts…….

…and even after all this time
it can still make me feel
white bread and average
the cloyingly mushy middle
of a brilliant girl sandwich

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