The Boy who ate the Universe ...

Here is a story
I’m presenting to you
A tale of a boy
This story is true…

A story quite odd
Far-fetched and surreal
It reads like a myth
But I assure you, it’s real…

A little boy named Billy,
And his parents so proud
For their little boy
Was somewhat endowed…

A cast-iron stomach
Is what Billy possessed…
No, not what you were thinking
Not what you guessed…

For shaaaaame…

Billy was happy
When he was stuffing his face
He dreamed about food
And dreamed about space

Space? Yes it’s true…
You must believe me, please…
He dreamed of the moon,
How it was made out of cheese…

And Billy loved cheese.
(Actually, Billy loved all foodstuffs in general…)

But space was too far,
An unobtainable feat…
And when Billy was down,
Billy would eat…

He would eat all he saw
And he begun to get fat
He was unhappy, you see
So he ate his own cat…

RIP Pickles. A good cat, through to the end…
(Well, at the very least, Billy’s “end”)

His folks were concerned
With his culinary ways
“Look ma, he’s huge”
“I hope it’s a phase”

But Billy kept on eating
No stopping him now
He needed to feed
He needed his chow

He started on pets
On gadgets and springs
He ate trees and rocks
And buildings and things

The townsfolk were mad
They gathered as a whole
They pleaded and pleaded
Billy was out of control!

With weapons and flames
They had him surrounded
Which was rather impressive
Because Billy was HUGE!
Like, the size of an office block!

“The boy must be stopped!”
“He has gone overboard!”
“We’ve run out of food!”
The good people roared…

“STOP!” Screamed his folks
“He’s our boy, after all!”
“He’s still just a child!”
“If a little….er…. tall”

“Put down your flames”
“Please, Billy’s not bad”
“We’ll make all this right…”
Then Billy ate his dad.
Followed, shortly, by his mom.

The mob was in shock!
Billy just ate his folks!
I’d like to remind you, kids
This is no hoax…

The town ran amok
And they pounced on the blob
“Lets get us some rope,
And tie up this slob!”

All bound and trussed up
Like a prize-winning ham
“What do we do now?”
They were in a bit of a jam…
(Billy also loved jam… Even the jelly bits he found between his toes…)

“I have an idea!”
Came a smart-sounding cry
“Let’s wrap him in fireworks!”
“Let’s at least give it a try…”

“Fireworks? And blow Billy to bits?”
“Good grief man, are you insane?”
“That would be out of the question…”
“Wait, let me explain….”

“We’ll use loads of rockets…
To send him to space!”
“He’s too fat for jail”
“He’s too huge for this place”

The town all agreed
We’ll lift-off this lad…
“To space?” Thought Billy
“Now THAT would be rad!”

“I’m going to space?”
“I can do as I please?”
“I’ll land on the moon,
And eat all that cheese!”
(“I hope its Roquefort!”)

So Billy was launched
On that ill-fated day…
Did he land on the moon?
No one can say…

But if you gaze at the sky
On a clear night in June
You might just catch a glimpse
Of the man in the moon…

For that’s what they call him
Still to this day…
Just ask your folks…
And see what they say…

This story is over,
It’s all true, I swear…
“I’ll bet the man in the moon
Is happy up there…”

The Boy who ate the Universe ...

GoodApollo

Cape Town, South Africa

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Artist's Description

A little story I wrote for a kid’s book I’m working on. It’s a labour of love, and contains tales of surrealism, fantasy, the macabre and just plain silliness. It is entitled “The boy who ate the universe, and other such stories”. It will also be fully illustrated, and hopefully on sale one of these days (just don’t hold your breath).

Artwork Comments

  • sandraellen
  • GoodApollo
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