Are we only as good as our last piece of work?
We were at a friend’s house, artists and writer’s, sitting around a fabulous slate top table, it was a beautiful morning and the doors and windows of the large Georgian kitchen, were wide open allowing in the softest breeze. Idyllic!
Philip a musician and sculptor, whose house it was, lead the conversation. As usual, he had little time for the niceties of life, believing them to be shallow and insincere. The simplest comment, such as “ It’s a beautiful day “ would prompt profound investigation, always challenging myself and others like me who took life a little more gently and ourselves a little less seriously.
Someone broke in with “Did anyone see The Two Ronnies sketch last night , Swedish Made Easy?” r.u.b.c, f.u.n.e.x , s.v.f.x etc and we each spent ages hilariously trying to add more to this.
What was really fantastic was that there was always a box of chalk within easy reach of the table, and you could, if you found a space, add to the array of drawings, formulas and working sketches, but rub something out at your peril. Discussion could rarely be had without an illustration taking place at the same time. A pile of toast and several cups of coffee later, the conversation became more intense, and the illustrations more imperative.
“Does anything we’ve done before matter?” Philip questioned “After all, we are only as good as our last piece of work ”.
At the time instead of prompting the deep philosophical discussion he had hoped it would, there was a prolonged silence, interspersed with mumblings of “ Hell, I hope not”. So I have since, thought about it often, particularly when I have just produced a less than satisfactory, piece of work.
So in my rush to destroy this proof that I am no good; a great many promising paintings have been ceremoniously burned. I have also lost sales this way; someone visited my studio one day, looked at my work including an oil painting that I liked myself but was unsure about its importance (?). However after he had gone, I decided that I needed to clear out the debris, and in another wave of doubt, included this painting.
Alas, about a week later the man returned to ask if he could buy it. I apologised and answered ambiguously that I was sorry but I no longer had it. He left disappointed and replied that he would not hesitate so long next time. However whilst the buyer may have been pleased with the painting, I would never have been happy having sold it to him. This is not a one off, lots of times people have asked about a ‘lost’ piece of work,” what about that drawing of……….etc”
I don’t do this now I put doubtful pieces away. After all it may be only a brush stroke away from the painting I wished it to be, and thus be worthy of being my last piece of work.
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