Forgotten
This is based on a true story that never happened…:) I imagined being left….it inspired this…
Forgotten belongs to the following groups:
Live, Love, Dream: , Two Beings Group and WMGI’m broken now
But I have not forgotten the way it feels
To swallow rain like candy drops
And then to
Stop
And fervidly kiss
If I ever backed off
You’d insist
A bit more intense
A bit more you
I’m broken now
But I will never forget
The baking sun breathing life into our veins
As you rolled on top of me in the most splendid
State of sweat
And then
Kept
Licking my spine
Your weight made it your call
I couldn’t fight it at all
My sensations of satisfaction
Obvious through my reaction
A bit more intense
A bit more me
Oh I am broken now
And when they see me
They see a messy head
Unmade bed
Mismatched socks
Ignoring clocks
Cuz I’ve no where to go
But what they don’t see
Is our days
Our ways
All those feelings
Still reeling in me
I know I look adrift
Holding to old times
Tracing all your lines
But I’m finding my way back home
Each memory cloud you left
Has turned to stone
And I have not forgotten
lianne
Oh my God Amy – I can’t tell you how deeply this touched me! How incredibly poignant this is and how true! Just an amazing work, my good friend!
girlinthestars replied
thank you so much Lianne, I am so glad you liked this, your comments mean so much~*
mtda
“As you rolled on top of me in the most splendid state of sweat.”
Imagined or not this is really powerful, your writing has such an excellent flow to it, everything I read of yours has such a pull from one line to the next. Very nice work.
girlinthestars replied
thank you so much, what a compliment, you made me smile~*
Solar Zorra
You made me all misty again….....really now, is there someone behind all of this heartfelt pain? If so either you need to make a call or he doesn’t deserve you.;)
girlinthestars replied
thank you Janine…oh, I am fine, I have had my heart shattered once and I never forgot those feelings…but I am happily in love now…thanks for your kind words though, you’re sweet~*
myoriginalsin
Hits straight home for me, as always :) You are so talented :)
girlinthestars replied
thank you, I am so glad you enjoy my work…it means a lot~* :)
Sally Omar
Absolutely awesome…Sally xxoo
girlinthestars replied
thank you Sally!!~*
Franka Zaumseil
really love that – its wonderful!
girlinthestars replied
thanks so much Juni, it means a lot~*
adgray
B R A V O Amy! [... if I may use your name]
This is the first work I have read of yours [I think] and it is absolutely S T U N N I N G !!!!
I cant wait to read the rest of your words!
No wonder you were featured in WMG!!! B R A V O !!!
Keep Happy! ~ alyssa :o)
girlinthestars replied
thank you so much Alyssa, I am so very flattered by this comment…you are so kind!~*
PJ Ryan
you’re so beautiful
i love this piece so much !!!
girlinthestars replied
thank you Nicole, you’re so sweet~*
Jordan Perili
this is very nicely written. the feeling is very easy to conceive. very well done
girlinthestars replied
thank you Jordan~* :)
butchart
amazing writing…....... such real emotion… thank you for sharing….........b
girlinthestars replied
thank you so much butchart, I appreciate your comment a lot~*
Gary Crandall
The line that first caught my eye… “to swallow rain like candy drops”... drew me right in to your poem… and then I kept marvelling at how it just kept the sensual imagery going so beautifully… also loved the way you expressed one’s disorientation in the last two stanzas after such a peak erotic experience… how memory clings and treasures such rich pleasures…
girlinthestars replied
Thank you Gary, what a wonderful comment …I am truly flattered~*
DaisyLadiE
So real…so true…great to know the feeling is real and others feel the same…thank you for sharing.
NCOFFEY2008
very nice poem of heart ache . i hope your next one will be of new memories
lex7
Exceptionally well written, you have put in a lot of heart and soul, for this being imagined,you have really done an excellent job at portraying the emotions. Well done.
Jsheffi
I’ve left a lot….and, you’ve captured it. As much as I hate to remember being in what is for you an imaginary “here” you’ve brought it back, beautifully. Hopefully, there will be A Bit More Me on this site soon, but I will surely seek A Bit More You.
Cheers! to being Happily In Love once again…!
Les Magee
fantastically written- we all remember that pain- so vividly captured
Shelby Stalnaker
FANTASTIC THOUGHTS,,THANKS FOR SHARING
monkeymonster
I can relate so strongly. Thank you, for writing this.
Flic Manning
I found myself getting teary. What a talent you have.
rina56
i luv it its very nice
tjsnow
Unmade bed
Mismatched socks
Ignoring clocks
I freakin love that. You have a lot of great stuff here. Great write and thanks for sharing.
ufosIsee
Way to reel in your mind, And to only think if you didn’t imagine this and it was true the torrid poetry of passion you would bring forth even greater truth. never the less it was a great ride and strongly felt…
Hayley Cafarella
i really like this….love writing from imagined emotion too, it’s amazing the sort of situations we can project ourselves into
xx
drewjthomas
finally even i come across this. very nice/good. each time i got goaded to say something, you come up with it subsequently; most satisfying; something complete. like; thank you!
—drewjthomas
drewjthomas
Hey! It was featured on my birthday!
drewj…
Karen Chandler
You hit me at home. Memories are very powerful and can crush if they please. Your work is amazing
Marjorie Wallace
Your writing is so powerful. You have painted a mental image and drawn me in and it feels like a distant dream… or a reality.