Forgotten

girlinthestars
Author: girlinthestars
Word Count: 182
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I’m broken now
But I have not forgotten the way it feels
To swallow rain like candy drops
And then to

Stop

And fervidly kiss
If I ever backed off
You’d insist
A bit more intense
A bit more you

I’m broken now
But I will never forget
The baking sun breathing life into our veins
As you rolled on top of me in the most splendid
State of sweat
And then

Kept

Licking my spine
Your weight made it your call
I couldn’t fight it at all
My sensations of satisfaction
Obvious through my reaction
A bit more intense
A bit more me

Oh I am broken now
And when they see me
They see a messy head
Unmade bed
Mismatched socks
Ignoring clocks
Cuz I’ve no where to go
But what they don’t see
Is our days
Our ways
All those feelings
Still reeling in me
I know I look adrift
Holding to old times
Tracing all your lines
But I’m finding my way back home
Each memory cloud you left
Has turned to stone

And I have not forgotten

Forgotten

This is based on a true story that never happened…:) I imagined being left….it inspired this…

Forgotten belongs to the following groups:

Bits and Pieces , Live, Love, Dream, The Two Of Us, The Word Tree and Writers' Market
  • lianne

    lianne, 2 months ago

    Oh my God Amy – I can’t tell you how deeply this touched me! How incredibly poignant this is and how true! Just an amazing work, my good friend!

  • mtda

    mtda, 2 months ago

    “As you rolled on top of me in the most splendid state of sweat.”
    Imagined or not this is really powerful, your writing has such an excellent flow to it, everything I read of yours has such a pull from one line to the next. Very nice work.

  • Janine Peterson

    Janine Peterson, 2 months ago

    You made me all misty again….....really now, is there someone behind all of this heartfelt pain? If so either you need to make a call or he doesn’t deserve you.;)

  • myoriginalsin

    myoriginalsin, 2 months ago

    Hits straight home for me, as always :) You are so talented :)

  • Sally Omar

    Sally Omar, 2 months ago

    Absolutely awesome…Sally xxoo

  • girlinthestars

    girlinthestars in reply to lianne’s comment, 2 months ago

    thank you so much Lianne, I am so glad you liked this, your comments mean so much~*

  • girlinthestars

    girlinthestars in reply to mtda’s comment, 2 months ago

    thank you so much, what a compliment, you made me smile~*

  • girlinthestars

    girlinthestars in reply to Janine Peterson’s comment, 2 months ago

    thank you Janine…oh, I am fine, I have had my heart shattered once and I never forgot those feelings…but I am happily in love now…thanks for your kind words though, you’re sweet~*

  • girlinthestars

    girlinthestars in reply to myoriginalsin’s comment, 2 months ago

    thank you, I am so glad you enjoy my work…it means a lot~* :)

  • girlinthestars

    girlinthestars in reply to Sally Omar’s comment, 2 months ago

    thank you Sally!!~*

  • Juni

    Juni, 2 months ago

    really love that – its wonderful!

  • girlinthestars

    girlinthestars in reply to Juni’s comment, 2 months ago

    thanks so much Juni, it means a lot~*

  • adgray

    adgray, 2 months ago

    B R A V O Amy! [... if I may use your name]
    This is the first work I have read of yours [I think] and it is absolutely S T U N N I N G !!!!
    I cant wait to read the rest of your words!
    No wonder you were featured in WMG!!! B R A V O !!!
    Keep Happy! ~ alyssa :o)

  • Nicole Ryan

    Nicole Ryan, 2 months ago

    you’re so beautiful

    i love this piece so much !!!

  • Jordan Perili

    Jordan Perili, 2 months ago

    this is very nicely written. the feeling is very easy to conceive. very well done

  • butchart

    butchart, 2 months ago

    amazing writing…....... such real emotion… thank you for sharing….........b

  • Gary  Crandall

    Gary Crandall, 2 months ago

    The line that first caught my eye… “to swallow rain like candy drops”... drew me right in to your poem… and then I kept marvelling at how it just kept the sensual imagery going so beautifully… also loved the way you expressed one’s disorientation in the last two stanzas after such a peak erotic experience… how memory clings and treasures such rich pleasures…

  • girlinthestars

    girlinthestars in reply to adgray’s comment, 2 months ago

    thank you so much Alyssa, I am so very flattered by this comment…you are so kind!~*

  • girlinthestars

    girlinthestars in reply to Nicole Ryan’s comment, 2 months ago

    thank you Nicole, you’re so sweet~*

  • girlinthestars

    girlinthestars in reply to Jordan Perili’s comment, 2 months ago

    thank you Jordan~* :)

  • girlinthestars

    girlinthestars in reply to butchart’s comment, 2 months ago

    thank you so much butchart, I appreciate your comment a lot~*

  • girlinthestars

    girlinthestars in reply to Gary Crandall’s comment, 2 months ago

    Thank you Gary, what a wonderful comment …I am truly flattered~*

  • DaisyLadiE

    DaisyLadiE, 2 months ago

    So real…so true…great to know the feeling is real and others feel the same…thank you for sharing.

  • NCOFFEY2008

    NCOFFEY2008, 2 months ago

    very nice poem of heart ache . i hope your next one will be of new memories

  • Alexia  Wardell

    Alexia Wardell, 2 months ago

    Exceptionally well written, you have put in a lot of heart and soul, for this being imagined,you have really done an excellent job at portraying the emotions. Well done.

  • Jsheffi

    Jsheffi, 2 months ago

    I’ve left a lot….and, you’ve captured it. As much as I hate to remember being in what is for you an imaginary “here” you’ve brought it back, beautifully. Hopefully, there will be A Bit More Me on this site soon, but I will surely seek A Bit More You.

    Cheers! to being Happily In Love once again…!

  • Les Magee

    Les Magee, about 1 month ago

    fantastically written- we all remember that pain- so vividly captured

  • sbortone

    sbortone, about 1 month ago

    FANTASTIC THOUGHTS,,THANKS FOR SHARING

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Tags:

love, lost, loss, heartache, memory and ache