Forgotten

girlinthestars
Author: girlinthestars
Word Count: 182
previous browse writing next

Forgotten

This is based on a true story that never happened…:) I imagined being left….it inspired this…

Forgotten belongs to the following groups:

Live, Love, Dream: , Two Beings Group and WMG

I’m broken now
But I have not forgotten the way it feels
To swallow rain like candy drops
And then to

Stop

And fervidly kiss
If I ever backed off
You’d insist
A bit more intense
A bit more you

I’m broken now
But I will never forget
The baking sun breathing life into our veins
As you rolled on top of me in the most splendid
State of sweat
And then

Kept

Licking my spine
Your weight made it your call
I couldn’t fight it at all
My sensations of satisfaction
Obvious through my reaction
A bit more intense
A bit more me

Oh I am broken now
And when they see me
They see a messy head
Unmade bed
Mismatched socks
Ignoring clocks
Cuz I’ve no where to go
But what they don’t see
Is our days
Our ways
All those feelings
Still reeling in me
I know I look adrift
Holding to old times
Tracing all your lines
But I’m finding my way back home
Each memory cloud you left
Has turned to stone

And I have not forgotten

  • lianne

    lianne

    Oh my God Amy – I can’t tell you how deeply this touched me! How incredibly poignant this is and how true! Just an amazing work, my good friend!

  • girlinthestars replied

    thank you so much Lianne, I am so glad you liked this, your comments mean so much~*

  • mtda

    mtda

    “As you rolled on top of me in the most splendid state of sweat.”
    Imagined or not this is really powerful, your writing has such an excellent flow to it, everything I read of yours has such a pull from one line to the next. Very nice work.

  • girlinthestars replied

    thank you so much, what a compliment, you made me smile~*

  • Solar Zorra

    Solar Zorra

    You made me all misty again….....really now, is there someone behind all of this heartfelt pain? If so either you need to make a call or he doesn’t deserve you.;)

  • girlinthestars replied

    thank you Janine…oh, I am fine, I have had my heart shattered once and I never forgot those feelings…but I am happily in love now…thanks for your kind words though, you’re sweet~*

  • myoriginalsin

    myoriginalsin

    Hits straight home for me, as always :) You are so talented :)

  • girlinthestars replied

    thank you, I am so glad you enjoy my work…it means a lot~* :)

  • Sally Omar

    Sally Omar

    Absolutely awesome…Sally xxoo

  • girlinthestars replied

    thank you Sally!!~*

  • Franka  Zaumseil

    Franka Zaumseil

    really love that – its wonderful!

  • girlinthestars replied

    thanks so much Juni, it means a lot~*

  • adgray

    adgray

    B R A V O Amy! [... if I may use your name]
    This is the first work I have read of yours [I think] and it is absolutely S T U N N I N G !!!!
    I cant wait to read the rest of your words!
    No wonder you were featured in WMG!!! B R A V O !!!
    Keep Happy! ~ alyssa :o)

  • girlinthestars replied

    thank you so much Alyssa, I am so very flattered by this comment…you are so kind!~*

  • PJ Ryan

    PJ Ryan

    you’re so beautiful

    i love this piece so much !!!

  • girlinthestars replied

    thank you Nicole, you’re so sweet~*

  • Jordan Perili

    Jordan Perili

    this is very nicely written. the feeling is very easy to conceive. very well done

  • girlinthestars replied

    thank you Jordan~* :)

  • butchart

    butchart

    amazing writing…....... such real emotion… thank you for sharing….........b

  • girlinthestars replied

    thank you so much butchart, I appreciate your comment a lot~*

  • Gary  Crandall

    Gary Crandall

    The line that first caught my eye… “to swallow rain like candy drops”... drew me right in to your poem… and then I kept marvelling at how it just kept the sensual imagery going so beautifully… also loved the way you expressed one’s disorientation in the last two stanzas after such a peak erotic experience… how memory clings and treasures such rich pleasures…

  • girlinthestars replied

    Thank you Gary, what a wonderful comment …I am truly flattered~*

  • DaisyLadiE

    DaisyLadiE

    So real…so true…great to know the feeling is real and others feel the same…thank you for sharing.

  • NCOFFEY2008

    NCOFFEY2008

    very nice poem of heart ache . i hope your next one will be of new memories

  • lex7

    lex7

    Exceptionally well written, you have put in a lot of heart and soul, for this being imagined,you have really done an excellent job at portraying the emotions. Well done.

  • Jsheffi

    Jsheffi

    I’ve left a lot….and, you’ve captured it. As much as I hate to remember being in what is for you an imaginary “here” you’ve brought it back, beautifully. Hopefully, there will be A Bit More Me on this site soon, but I will surely seek A Bit More You.

    Cheers! to being Happily In Love once again…!

  • Les Magee

    Les Magee

    fantastically written- we all remember that pain- so vividly captured

  • Shelby  Stalnaker

    Shelby Stalnaker

    FANTASTIC THOUGHTS,,THANKS FOR SHARING

  • monkeymonster

    monkeymonster

    I can relate so strongly. Thank you, for writing this.

  • Flic Manning

    Flic Manning

    I found myself getting teary. What a talent you have.

  • rina56

    rina56

    i luv it its very nice

  • tjsnow

    tjsnow

    Unmade bed
    Mismatched socks
    Ignoring clocks

    I freakin love that. You have a lot of great stuff here. Great write and thanks for sharing.

  • ufosIsee

    ufosIsee

    Way to reel in your mind, And to only think if you didn’t imagine this and it was true the torrid poetry of passion you would bring forth even greater truth. never the less it was a great ride and strongly felt…

  • Hayley Cafarella

    Hayley Cafarella

    i really like this….love writing from imagined emotion too, it’s amazing the sort of situations we can project ourselves into
    xx

  • drewjthomas

    drewjthomas

    finally even i come across this. very nice/good. each time i got goaded to say something, you come up with it subsequently; most satisfying; something complete. like; thank you!
    —drewjthomas

  • drewjthomas

    drewjthomas

    Hey! It was featured on my birthday!

    drewj…

  • Karen  Chandler

    Karen Chandler

    You hit me at home. Memories are very powerful and can crush if they please. Your work is amazing

  • Marjorie Wallace

    Marjorie Wallace

    Your writing is so powerful. You have painted a mental image and drawn me in and it feels like a distant dream… or a reality.

Add your comment

You need to login or signup to add your comment to this work.

Tags:

ache, heartache, loss, lost, love and memory