I’m broken now
But I have not forgotten the way it feels
To swallow rain like candy drops
And then to
Stop
And fervidly kiss
If I ever backed off
You’d insist
A bit more intense
A bit more you
I’m broken now
But I will never forget
The baking sun breathing life into our veins
As you rolled on top of me in the most splendid
State of sweat
And then
Kept
Licking my spine
Your weight made it your call
I couldn’t fight it at all
My sensations of satisfaction
Obvious through my reaction
A bit more intense
A bit more me
Oh I am broken now
And when they see me
They see a messy head
Unmade bed
Mismatched socks
Ignoring clocks
Cuz I’ve no where to go
But what they don’t see
Is our days
Our ways
All those feelings
Still reeling in me
I know I look adrift
Holding to old times
Tracing all your lines
But I’m finding my way back home
Each memory cloud you left
Has turned to stone
And I have not forgotten
Forgotten
This is based on a true story that never happened…:) I imagined being left….it inspired this…
lianne, 2 months ago
Oh my God Amy – I can’t tell you how deeply this touched me! How incredibly poignant this is and how true! Just an amazing work, my good friend!
mtda, 2 months ago
“As you rolled on top of me in the most splendid state of sweat.”
Imagined or not this is really powerful, your writing has such an excellent flow to it, everything I read of yours has such a pull from one line to the next. Very nice work.
Janine Peterson, 2 months ago
You made me all misty again….....really now, is there someone behind all of this heartfelt pain? If so either you need to make a call or he doesn’t deserve you.;)
myoriginalsin, 2 months ago
Hits straight home for me, as always :) You are so talented :)
Sally Omar, 2 months ago
Absolutely awesome…Sally xxoo
girlinthestars in reply to lianne’s comment, 2 months ago
thank you so much Lianne, I am so glad you liked this, your comments mean so much~*
girlinthestars in reply to mtda’s comment, 2 months ago
thank you so much, what a compliment, you made me smile~*
girlinthestars in reply to Janine Peterson’s comment, 2 months ago
thank you Janine…oh, I am fine, I have had my heart shattered once and I never forgot those feelings…but I am happily in love now…thanks for your kind words though, you’re sweet~*
girlinthestars in reply to myoriginalsin’s comment, 2 months ago
thank you, I am so glad you enjoy my work…it means a lot~* :)
girlinthestars in reply to Sally Omar’s comment, 2 months ago
thank you Sally!!~*
Juni, 2 months ago
really love that – its wonderful!
girlinthestars in reply to Juni’s comment, 2 months ago
thanks so much Juni, it means a lot~*
adgray, 2 months ago
B R A V O Amy! [... if I may use your name]
This is the first work I have read of yours [I think] and it is absolutely S T U N N I N G !!!!
I cant wait to read the rest of your words!
No wonder you were featured in WMG!!! B R A V O !!!
Keep Happy! ~ alyssa :o)
Nicole Ryan, 2 months ago
you’re so beautiful
i love this piece so much !!!
Jordan Perili, 2 months ago
this is very nicely written. the feeling is very easy to conceive. very well done
butchart, 2 months ago
amazing writing…....... such real emotion… thank you for sharing….........b
Gary Crandall, 2 months ago
The line that first caught my eye… “to swallow rain like candy drops”... drew me right in to your poem… and then I kept marvelling at how it just kept the sensual imagery going so beautifully… also loved the way you expressed one’s disorientation in the last two stanzas after such a peak erotic experience… how memory clings and treasures such rich pleasures…
girlinthestars in reply to adgray’s comment, 2 months ago
thank you so much Alyssa, I am so very flattered by this comment…you are so kind!~*
girlinthestars in reply to Nicole Ryan’s comment, 2 months ago
thank you Nicole, you’re so sweet~*
girlinthestars in reply to Jordan Perili’s comment, 2 months ago
thank you Jordan~* :)
girlinthestars in reply to butchart’s comment, 2 months ago
thank you so much butchart, I appreciate your comment a lot~*
girlinthestars in reply to Gary Crandall’s comment, 2 months ago
Thank you Gary, what a wonderful comment …I am truly flattered~*
DaisyLadiE, 2 months ago
So real…so true…great to know the feeling is real and others feel the same…thank you for sharing.
NCOFFEY2008, 2 months ago
very nice poem of heart ache . i hope your next one will be of new memories
Alexia Wardell, 2 months ago
Exceptionally well written, you have put in a lot of heart and soul, for this being imagined,you have really done an excellent job at portraying the emotions. Well done.
Jsheffi, 2 months ago
I’ve left a lot….and, you’ve captured it. As much as I hate to remember being in what is for you an imaginary “here” you’ve brought it back, beautifully. Hopefully, there will be A Bit More Me on this site soon, but I will surely seek A Bit More You.
Cheers! to being Happily In Love once again…!
Les Magee, about 1 month ago
fantastically written- we all remember that pain- so vividly captured
sbortone, about 1 month ago
FANTASTIC THOUGHTS,,THANKS FOR SHARING