There is a moment and i listen to my breath hold itself. My right hand squishes onto the furry area above my pubic bone. My left hand traces the hood over the crown of my head. My bladder aches only slightly and the need to answer the door and bring the cigarette to my lips is more confusing than tedious. A towel hanging over the bathroom door reminds me that i showered yesterday. This thought pleases me and i pull the towel around myself as i approach the door stretching my lips in what i intend to be a pleasing and sane, not overambitious – but appropriate morning smile.