It was my birthday today, and it was the first time ever all of my family went out for a meal. But Kath came too, and I told Grandma and Granddad last week that I didn’t want her to come, because she just ruins everything. Grandma told me to give her a chance because she’d want to see her eldest son on his birthday, so I agreed but said I had to be sat near Uncle Tom and my cousin Matt and she was at the other side of the table. Anyway, Kath came home on the bus and she actually had a card for me this year, with 20 quid in it. So I went to Grandma and apologised for saying I didn’t want Kath to come, and that I was wrong not to give her another chance. Grandma told me that she’d been clean since the time she didn’t come home for ages, a few years ago, and that the reason she’d been away was because she went to rehab, even though I know it was while she was pregnant with the twins. So I decided that if all the stuff about kicking the dope and smack was true, maybe she was worth another chance.
At the meal she stayed really withdrawn, only talking a little bit, but she was the only one drinking which was pretty weird. When we got back it was pretty late and I’ve got school tomorrow, so I thought that watching TV in bed was a good idea. When I got upstairs Kath was in the bathroom, so I simply asked, “Can you hurry up Kath? I’ve got school tomorrow.’’ And she threw a massive fit at me, saying “Take the fucking bathroom, and you can forget about any more fucking presents. You can’t even call your own mother Mum.” So I asked when the last time she’d been a mother was, and she started off again and threatened to “fucking burn the house down” if I didn’t give her the money back because she wanted to save it for a son that she actually wanted in the first place. I went in, gave it to her, and just walked off. That’s the last time she gets another fucking chance off me. Bitch.
A set of diary entries that have been written for a Drink and Drugs awareness campaign about an individuals experience as a child, and throughout growing up with a mother with a heavy drug problem.