New Women’s Chiffon Tops. They’re just so chiffon-y.

You Can’t Drop A Cow Out Of A Helicopter

There, I have your attention now. Your hooked, and your about to spend the next 5 minutes reading about some of the worlds stupidest laws.

I didn’t lie to you, in Africa; it is an offence punishable by prison to drop a cow out of a helicopter, in case it was to fall on somebody. Assuming the government are just covering their own backs incase somebody ever did do it, they’re pretty well prepared. Perhaps Gordon Brown should adopt this law through the paranoia of Bin Laden and his gang deciding to bomb us with cows.

Jet across the world to the land of star spangled stripes and equal opportunity for all, visit New Jersey and you’ll realise that it is illegal to wear a bullet proof vest while committing a murder; no explanation is offered, one can only assume it is to make the act of murder an equal and fair sport. Or maybe it is just to spite the murderers; can you imagine getting away with a year inside for murder, only to be handed another 25 years for wearing a bullet proof vest at the time?

Pennsylvania, the land of fairness and a low crime rate. Unless you are a fisherman. If you are, you may not catch a fish with your hands, through the use of dynamite, or with any other part of your body except your mouth. And then after that hard day’s work when you head home to drag in, you must be sure not to sleep on top of your fridge, if your outdoors.
Now I’ve heard of criminals, but to have all of them on criminal record, is some sort of an achievement in my eyes.
Throw in that if you share a house with 16 females, it can be classed as a brothel, you’ve got to be careful with your every move.

Travel to the Swiss alps for a week, enjoy the beautiful views, experience the fresh air and crisp powder snow, but do not relieve yourself standing up after Ten pm, or you will be prosecuted. If you decide to break this law in any of your devious moments, remind yourself that it is also illegal to flush after Ten pm, so be aware of a dual-offence.

Back home, if you are a male over the age of 14, you must carry out at least 2 hours a week of supervised longbow practice. Just remember not to use this in New Jersey if you are wearing a bullet proof vest.

With hundreds more of examples I could waffle on forever, but the 5 minutes I asked of you are up, and if I carry on I may breach a law of word limits in national newspapers. Better call a lawyer.

You Can’t Drop A Cow Out Of A Helicopter

gingerdude

York, United Kingdom

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