I am a professional artist and art tutor based in Sussex and I paint animal portraits, landscapes, seascapes and whatever else I fancy. My paintings are bright and contemporary and they get attention wherever they go. I am not arty, deep, mysterious, messed up, young, ‘emerging’ or remotely likely to get famous – I just like painting. I am inspired by music, cake and practically anything I look at. I plan to pretend I am dead at some point in order to sell more paintings.