A is for apple, and B is for Boat,
That used to be right, but now it won’t float!
Age before beauty is what we once said,
But let’s be a bit more realistic instead.

Now The Alphabet

A’s for arthritis;
B’s the bad back,
C’s the chest pain
perhaps car-di-ac?

D is for dental decay and decline,
E is for eyesight, can’t read that top line!
F is for fissure and fluid retention,
G is for gas which I’d rather not mention.

H high blood pressure-I’d rather it low;
I for incisions with scars you can show,
J is for joints, out of socket, won’t mend,
K is for knees that crack when they bend.

L is for libido, what happened to sex?
M is for memory, I forget what comes next,
N is for neuralgia, in nerves way down low;
O is for osteo, bones that don’t grow!

P for prescriptions, I have quite a few,
just give me pill and I’ll be good as new!
Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu?
R is for reflux, one meal turns to two.

S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears,
T is for tinnitus; bells in my ears!
U is for urinary; troubles with flow;
V for vertigo, that’s “dizzy,” you know.

W for worry, NOW what’s going ‘round?
X is for Xray, and what might be found,
Y is for another year I’m left here behind,
Z is for zest I still have-in my mind.

*I’ve survived all the symptoms, my body’s deployed, and
I’m keeping twenty-six doctors fully employed!!!



George Swann

Kings Lynn, United Kingdom

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