This is the way of the future, folks! With all the nonsense going on about emission trading and carbon footprints, the King Canute Institute of Climatic Change and Other Earthly Phenomena (KCICCOEP) recently made the following decree:
1) All living things including humans, exude and expell the dreaded CO2, as well as Methane, which is flamable and combustible, and other noxious gases.
2) Trees, through photosynthesis and other complex reactions, absorb CO2 and emit Oxygen, a gas which supports combustion and is necessary for life.
3) In future, all cars are to be powered by using the oxygen emitted by trees, blended with the methane produced by its occupants.
4) All living animals, including humans, will henceforth be required to wear special masks which will absorb CO2. Suitable ones can be found at your Army Surplus Store.
5) All living animals, including humans, will henceforth have special plumbing installed in their nether regions to collect methane. This will be stored in a suitable pressure vessel carried on the back, then further plumbed in to the fuel injection system in their vehicles.
6) The size of the pressure vessel will vary depending on countries of origin and their diets. Those cultures rich in dietary traditions of curries, eggs, baked beans, cabbage and the like will require tanks of at least 9kg capacity.
7) These measures will ensure that the dreaded CO2 will be eliminated from the atmosphere and the ice caps will stop melting. Pay no attention to what the Sun is doing – this is merely an Inconvenient Distraction…
Now, hang on a bit…if we ban CO2, then what are the trees going to use to produce Oxygen??? Hmmm…we may have to re-think our strategies and go back to study some elementary Biology instead of relying on voodoo science to frighten the population and justify our taking drastic measures to ruin the economy.
8) For your information, a prototype of the vehicle used at the KCICCOEP to research its theories has been put on display outside our laboratories. Some forward progress is expected by the year 2020……
Having read this far, have a look at the article by David Evans, which gives a balanced and more accurate view of the Carbon debate – sorry – debacle. Please click here to read. Thanks to Maximus for putting this article up as a Journal Entry in his Gallery.