Guess what? No really, guess. It may take a moment or two, or many moments combined, but eventually you will guess the secret I have. You can’t cheat. I won’t give any hints. A simple “no” or “yes” will be all you hear from your questions. I will grant you no more than that. And no less. If you can guess what I’ve done, then I’ll happily greet your response with a YES and a warm hug. That is, if you’d still like to embrace me, or be my friend, once my deep secret is exposed.
I backed over your cat with my car? No.
I robbed a homeless man of all his worldly possessions? No.
I committed adultery with my tennis instructor? No.
I threw your father down the stairs? No.
Wait. Stop right there. Why on earth would you suggest that the secret I hold so deep is something negative? Do I gleam with negativity? Certainly your line of questioning has such an appeal that seems downtrodden. Perhaps you should realign your method of questioning and review what your thoughts need to be. You appear to be going down a path of bad things.
I won the multi-state lottery? No.
I discovered the cure for all types of cancer? No.
I identified an all-encompassing way to create world peace? No.
Okay, it seems you’ve gone from one extreme to the other. First your guesses veered down a path of negativity. Now your line of questioning makes me some sort of glorious hero. Do you not know who I am? Certainly you do! Please find some happy medium in the way you guess my secret. Don’t give up. Just make your suggestions more neutral.
Oh, now you’ve fallen silent. I get it. You give up! Don’t want to play this game, eh? Well fine. I’ll tell you what it is then. I found Coke on sale at the pharmacy. I bought four cases.