1. Did you hate your mother?
2. No, doc, no. Honest, I loved my mother.
1. Your father?
2. If course not! I loved him too.
1. What about your siblings? Were you ever jealous?
2. No, doc, I loved all my brothers and sisters.
1. Not even a teensy weensy little bit?
1. On the surface, yes. But what about deep down in your subconscious? Didn’t you harbor some sort of resentment?
2. Not in the least, doc… never.
1. Never? Never, never, never?
1. So who did you hate?
2. I didn’t hate anyone. Honest, doc.
1. You must have hated someone. Everyone hates someone.
2. No one.
1. Are you sure?
2. You’re making me feel guilty.
1. What about now? Do you hate anyone now?
2. No, doc. I love everyone.
1. Then that’s your problem.
2. How do you mean?
1. You don’t hate anyone. How do you expect me to run a successful business if you don’t hate anyone? I’m a professional psychiatrist, for God’s sake! Everyone at least hates someone! How can I solve your problems if you refuse to hate anyone?
2. Sorry, doc. I feel really bad about this.
1. And so you should! I can’t be wasting my time with lovey-dovey, goody-goody two shoes who don’t hate anybody!
2. Oh dear… I feel awful. What can I do?
1. Here’s a copy of my book… How to Lose Friends and Infuriate People. Read it and come back later.
What the world needs now is hate…