1. Time we had a little talk, son.
2. Oh, no! Am I in trouble again, dad?
1. No, no, no… nothing like that. Relax. It’s just that you’re growing up and it’s… well, it’s time to discuss certain things.
2. Like what?
1. Like how you got here.
2. I’m always here. It’s my room.
1. No, son, I mean like the birds and the bees.
1. What do you mean ‘oh’?
2. You wanna talk about sex.
1. Well, since you put it that way… yes.
2. But bees don’t have sex.
1. They pollenate the flowers.
2. That’s not sex, dad. And when was the last time you saw birds doing it?
1. It’s all the same thing, son.
2. Yeah, right, dad. Are you telling me I’m here because of the birds and the bees?
1. The expression is meant to be metaphorical. It’s a figure of speech.
2. Why can’t we talk about gorillas?
1. I’d rather not.
2. What’s wrong with gorillas?
1. If you don’t mind, son, we’ll stick to the birds and the bees.
2. Gorillas are totally cool, dad. Besides, we’re not related to birds and bees.
1. I really don’t think it’s a good idea to talk about gorillas.
2. Okay, then. How about chimpanzees?
1. Not them either.
2. Okay, then… how about you and mum?
1. Definitely not.
2. How about that chick next door who sunbathes topless?
1. Just stay where you are for a minute.
2. Where are you going?
1. To get your mother.
Having a little heart to heart with a teenage son.