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Shrimp on the Barbie

So anyway this American bloke hears my accent and recognizes me as an Aussie, and he says, yo, I heard all about that Aussie stuff… Crocodile Dundee and shrimp on the barbie! So I said no, mate. We don’t have shrimps in Oz. And he said but what about those tourism ads with Paul Hogan? And I said that’s a load of crap! I said those ads were designed to suck you blokes in so you’d spend your tourist dollars here. We don’t have shrimps in Oz. And he said no shrimps? And I said no shrimps. He said are you sure you don’t have any shrimp in Australia? And I said bloody oath, mate, fair dinkum. No shrimp. So he said well, if you don’t have any shrimp, what the hell do you put on your barbie? And I said prawns, mate. I said we put prawns on our barbie – barbecued prawns. And he said prawns? And I said yeah, prawns, mate. And he said well, what the hell are prawns? And I said prawns are like lobsters. And he said lobsters? You’re kidding me! And I said maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate – which is what I say when I wanna make a point – maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate instead of mate – I said maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate, I’m not kidding. Aussie prawns can grow to 3 feet, mate. In fact, I know fishermen who throw the two-footers back. And he said three feet long? And I said yeah, mate, three feet long. I said you only need one of those buggers and a bottle of Rosella to feed a dozen people. No worries. And he said so why didn’t Paul Hogan say prawns instead of shrimp? And I said I told you already – I said because you dopey Yanks don’t know about prawns. I said you only know about shrimp. So the advertising guru blokes thought if Hogan went on about prawns you blokes wouldn’t know what the hell he was talking about! And besides that, I said, if Hogan had showed a 3 foot prawn to an American audience they might have freaked and not come here as tourists. So this American bloke looks at me for a while and gives me the sideways hairy eyeball and then he says, I think you’re pulling my leg.

Shrimp on the Barbie

Gary Kelly

Taree, Australia

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Artist's Description

The truth about shrimps.

Artwork Comments

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