1. Smith’s Pharmacy at your service, may I help you, young man?
2. Er… yes. You see, my wife…
1. You’re married? You look too young to be married. How old are you?
1. And I’m Ginger Meggs. You look more like 15 to me.
2. Anyway, my wife says she’s allergic to the pill and she asked me to… er… go up the road.
1. She asked you to go up the road?
2. Yes… to the shops… to the pharmacy.
1. I see, and that’s why you’re here at Smith’s Pharmacy?
2. Yes. She… well, you see we’re married and everything and in love, madly in love, and… well, heh, you know.
1. I’m sorry young man, no I don’t know. What are you trying to tell me?
2. She asked me to go up the road to the pharmacy to get… to get a packet of… um…
1. A packet of what?
2. A packet of…. thingies.
1. Thingies? No problem, young man. We have more thingies than you can poke a stick at. Shelves and shelves and shelves stacked full of thingies – endless shelves, and even more thingies out back in the storeroom. If it’s thingies you want, young man, you’ve certainly come to the right place. Now, what exactly are the type of thingies you’re after? Can you give me a hint? Some sort of rough idea?
2. Well, we’re married you see, and…
1. Yes, yes, yes, you’ve already mentioned that, young man – several times. Congratulations, and I hope you and your wife enjoy a long and fruitful married life. Now, can you be a tad more specific about the type of thingies you’re after?
2. Er… rubber ones.
1. Rubber thingies? I see. Well, that narrows it down a bit. You don’t want wooden thingies, plastic thingies, metal thingies, cotton thingies, or any other thingies made of material that’s not rubber. Is that correct?
1. Good, at last we’re getting somewhere. Now, tell me, what do these thingies look like?
2. Well, they’re sort of… er… stretchy… kinda like a balloon.
1. A balloon? Well, why didn’t you say so in the first place? How many packets would you like? We have packs of 20, 50 and 100. Sausage ones, round ones, big ones, small ones, colored ones…
2. Well, they’re not exactly balloons… they just look like balloons… kinda.
1. They look like balloons but they’re not balloons, is that what you’re saying?
1. Do I look confused, young man?
2. You roll them on.
1. You roll them on what?
2. Your thingie.
1. You roll the thingie on your thingie?
1. May I tell you something in strictest confidence, young man? I have no idea what on earth you’re talking about.
2. It’s like this: we’re married, you see, and she says she’s allergic to the pill, and…
1. She’s asked you to go to the pharmacy to get a packet of balloons. Is that it?
2. Basically, yes.
1. So what if I sell you a packet of balloons? Would that solve the problem?
1. Young man! Wait! You’re leaving the shop without your balloons!
Conversation between a pharmacist and an awkward teen.