BUT FOR A PEN’S MAD SCRIBBLINGS - revision
This is one of the hardest ones I’ve ever written trying to get it right. Still wasn’t happy with the previous posted version, so here’s a revision—final, all done, moving on. Some poems come together in an hour. This one has taken weeks, been shelved, re-worked, and posted. And still had not reached the essence of what I was going for. Hope this version is more satisfactory to the reader.
BUT FOR A PEN’S MAD SCRIBBLINGS - revision belongs to the following groups:
All Things Poetic, Artistic, Philosophical, Mature Woman and WMGLavender
night
and lightning
bright
and beautiful as the beast
illuminates
what’s left of sanity
in a room
both bare and sullen…
but for a pen’s
mad scribblings
we would
be lost
as the half-life
of words
decays
more rapidly
than can be written…
frail attempts
of quavering hands
to defend against
the relentless ticking
the treacherous clicking
of time…
betrayal
of a soul
left wanting
for one last kiss
for one last touch
for one last night
of tenderness…
as youth’s abundance
turns
in fevered flight
to scarcity…
lianne
I loved it the first time Gary, and find this final version just as appealing. Still in sync that’s for sure. Incredibly moving and very much where I find myself. The flow of this has that sense of “falling away” – that same sands through the hourglass flow. A wonderful piece. I know what it’s like to wrestle with something for weeks – my last effort was like that and I’m still not quite right with it either – lol. This one is perfect!
Gary Crandall replied
Well, Lianne, I will accept your verdict of “perfect”... whew! now I can finally let go and move on to something else… our struggles with getting it “right” remind me of a story about David Lean the Director who was watching his film “Passage to India” in a public theater in India and went up to the projection booth and began beating on the door because he still wanted to make some changes to the film… Alas, there is no peace in the creative arts…