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A year ago.

I find myself staring into the flame of isolation. Waking up with your ribs sore from missing someone so bad.. How you give me that feeling. My awkward nature, your skinny fingers. Memorized the manner of how you take a drag off your cigarette, how you look in the mornings.. Tiny pieces of you that manage to always creep out of the cobwebs of my mind when I thought they no longer mattered. Everyday is just a bitter, passing chapter. I’ve become a lonely soul in this twin bed. Finding it funny how this time a year ago was so different. How reminders of you seem bitter and yet almost lovely. How immature and happy and confused we were. These everyday conversations merely posess no meaning… Yet you.. Over and over I’ve tried memorizing the particular usage of how even the simplest of your words always seemed so perfect, so effortless. The way your voice manifested the most crucial words which were in reality only ordinary to the rest of the world, yet entirely different to me..
Yet in contrary this is just a string of meaningless phrases, to only try and say I still care about you. I never chose to or tried to or even wanted to really.. It’s just a feeling. What I feel when I hear your name.. Those things just can’t be ignored. It’s just hit me lately, how I’ve missed our friendship.. All this while we’ve been packing ice around our hearts, but what for? We have changed as the skies change. Different colors are the skies at the end of the day, but the stars are always the same when the night comes. Just as I look at you. Your colors have changed but Darling your stars still burn, so bright. And that’s what brings me back to you everytime. That’s what makes me miss you most of all. That stubborn fire about you, that fucking sense of alivement that cascades around you.

You’re the most beautiful friend I have ever had.
Just please, please don’t go on pretending like it wasn’t real.

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I just miss you I guess.


summer, gabba, shane, changes, sad, oh well, life lessons, moving on, dumb, shit

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  • Bogsy
    Bogsyover 3 years ago

    Memorized the manner of how you take a drag off your cigarette

    I love that. I love that almost as much as I can love anything. It reminds me of certain people in my life — I never thought about it but the ways they took drags off their cigarettes were each unique. And it really did personify who they were. Anyway, I really enjoyed this little piece. The way you try to immortalize this person reminded me of a time in my life when I was fourteen and thought I was in love. I’d spend many a night trying to visualize every curve of this girl’s face…and now I don’t think I could do it at all.

  • gabbybear
    gabbybearover 3 years ago

    Ahww.. I’m so glad I was able to capture that for you Dear. I always thought I was the only one who ever noticed how people smoke differently and how it shows their personalities in certain manners. I’m glad it made you relate as well. That’s precious.. Funny how the heart works(: thanks for your comment I appreciate it(:

  • Shane G
    Shane Gover 3 years ago

  • Retroeight
    Retroeightover 1 year ago

    “Waking up with your ribs sore from missing someone so bad”


    “That stubborn fire about you, that fucking sense of alivement that cascades around you.”

    That is incredible. I don’t know what you were feeling or thinking when you wrote it, but it grabbed ahold of me and refused to let go. I look forward to reading more of your writings, your style is something I can easily relate to, it’s simply a joy.

  • I feel so bad that I JUST saw this comment! :(( So sorry!! I trulyyyy appreciate your comment, thank you so much!! My goal is to write in ways that relate to others so I am glad to hear that. Thanks again man, I appreciate you.

    – gabbybear

  • Retroeight
    Retroeightover 1 year ago

    Don’t feel bad! Life happens :)

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