The shoes still have the mud on them.
That winter day when we walked through the paddock, holding hands and pretending that the manure we were trudging through wasn’t annoying.
That day, when you pushed me up against the cypress pine tree and reminded me of the things that I had wondered about when I was a little girl sitting on the seventh branch of one.
That day you hurt me and I haven’t worn the shoes since.
They sit in the basket by the back door, with the umbrella, the dog leash and the outside slippers I wear when I bring in the washing. They sit there like an unwanted puppy. Sad and yelping at me. Muddied and changed forever.
That mud has my tears in it.
I can’t throw those boots out and I can’t wear them. They just sit there waiting. It’s like you’re hiding in them. If I pick them up, you will jump out of them.
SURPRISE! YOU THOUGHT I’D GONE FOREVER DIDN’T YOU?
No.
I feel you in the darkness.
Closest to me when I sleep.
Your hand resting on my thigh sometimes, reminding me of ways you touched me then.
My dreams are filled with you.
Why wouldn’t you say you loved me that night beside the cypress tree?
I wanted you to fall in love with me. To want me. To pine for me so much. I thought that pine tree was a symbol of your desire.
It wasn’t.
You never told me you loved me.
I wanted to be with you.
I wanted to feel you.
To share with you my skin, my sex, my breathlessness.
Like we did last summer.
4 months of sweet happiness. We were a team. Happy. In love.
I wanted sunshine and rolling waves, us collapsing at dusk and rolling around each other like tumbleweeds.
I didn’t want paddocks and horse shit. Torrential rain and pine trees that scratched my skin and left me bleeding.
I climbed that tree as high as I could go when you went away.
I knew I should have worn my jacket.
But when you called and said you wanted to talk, I raced from my house to meet you at the farm as quickly as I could.
I didn’t think you would be leaving.
Why won’t you marry me?
What is wrong with me?
Why couldn’t it be me?
I never wanted to be like all of those other girls in your past.
I wanted to be more to you than a casual affair.
I wanted to be the one.
When we were driving down that winding road, lost in the misty atmosphere, your hand on my lap – I was sure you’d fallen for me.
I was sure you had decided that I was the girl who had stolen your heart away.
The girl who would wash your clothes, cook you dinner and cuddle you on the couch.
You had that smile on your face and the sun in your eyes.
Your eyes were twinkling like flecks in green opals and I remember that moment so clearly.
I’ll never forget that moment and i’ll hold it like a gem stone to my heart forever.
Your face turning to horror.
Your scream.
“NOOOOOOO SANDY, LOOK OUT!”
I don’t remember anything after that.
Except for the moment when they told me that you had died.
I’ll remember that forever.
© ryan
The One.
artwork by fireandice
flower68, 3 months ago
aaaaaaaaargh.you did it again.I shall call you twistie and you shall be my friend :-)...great writing.
ladyb, 3 months ago
Best story I’ve read all day. Brilliant. x
aglaia b, 3 months ago
i wish again…that i could say the things you say and the way you say them!....love it…very romantic and sad…superb writing! x
girlinthestars, 3 months ago
this is awesome. it just a rolling story, i just want it to keep rolling!
i love…
I wanted sunshine and rolling waves, us collapsing at dusk and rolling around each other like tumbleweeds.
you have great talent. ~*
Fenderhead, 3 months ago
lovely and sad
mtda, 3 months ago
beautiful so well written
Rachael Hope, 3 months ago
“That day you hurt me and I haven’t worn the shoes since.” Those lines really got me, I welled up just a little :( You have it so right here, that feeling of devastation, when you put everything in and it’s still not enough, that’s the most painful thing of all. I adore this so much. Xxxxx
Janine Peterson, 3 months ago
Fantastic! what a wonderful read, the way you write made me feel like I was watching instead of reading, even though there was dialog, it flowed in images.
Natella2020, 2 months ago
This is so wonderfully written. You might want to check the link in the Twisted Tales forum . It might be just my computer, but I’ve clicked on it several times and it’s not directing me here.
deliriousgirl, 2 months ago
Ohhhhhh wow! These words just absolutely melt me!!!
You are one hellofa writer, girly-girl!!!
Natella2020, 2 months ago
No problem, Nicole. It was my pleasure.
Damian, 2 months ago
Ah, I didn’t expect him to be dead. I loved all of the opening with the talk of the muddied shoes, very cool. The, can’t throw them out and can’t wear them, idea.
Lehane, 2 months ago
Thanks for taking the time and effort to enter the Like We Did Last Summer short story competition in the Twisted Tales group. Best of luck!
Alison Pearce, 2 months ago
Fabulous!
WanderingAuthor, 2 months ago
I could feel her heartache, but all along I thought he’d left her for someone else – I never saw that coming! It was a great story, and the ending was like a punch in the gut. It really makes the reader feel how devastating his death was to Sandy, to have it revealed like that. An excellent story; you have a lot of talent.
fireandice, 2 months ago
I saw her sitting on the steps looking at the boots. I saw her laying in bed with a shadow sitting next to her..I can see the gem, weighing her heart down..
You have made me feel..
JenniferB, 2 months ago
occasionally I read a piece of writing that literally stops me in my tracks and leaves me stammering like a retard lost for words… this is one of those tender moments.
beautiful.
xox
linaji, 2 months ago
Good Lord..this is beautiful.. I am crying dear one.. I just could not stop them moment I started you brought up so many visions of Love and Hope and Joy and Pain.. I think this and the photo are amazing.. like you in so many ways.. How utterly lovely this has been.. thank you.
JenniferB, 2 months ago
oh and fireandice’s photographs compliment your words perfectly! stunning work both visually and conceptually. a great collab! :-)
xox
Neil Johnson, 2 months ago
Wowww! What an amazing storyteller you are Nicole! So very touching. Great Colab!
aglaia b, 2 months ago
Beautiful artwork form fireandice.
fireandice, 2 months ago
Awww..You put it up..
>.wipes snot on sleeve<<
Thank you..I loved this story from the first line. And it was a total and utter buzz to be able to d some art for it..
Susie Mac, 2 months ago
Brilliant writing… so sad at the end… but what an ending… stark and hits the reader like a bolt from the blue !! great collaboration… susie :)
Stack, 2 months ago
I really love the twist at the end. I loved reading this, I just had to read it to my mum too. She loved it as well.