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I’m laying in the bath
the cold
little beginnings
of yesterdays

The water is an envelope
inviting me to slip
to the floor of incidence
with rusted ships
and bones that never made it back.

I never said I could
you didn’t ask me to

© ryan

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Bitey, metaphorical and ambiguous little writes.

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  • PintaPinta
    PintaPintaover 5 years ago

    nix, this is perfect. this moment. this moment of contemplation in the high seas… in the bath… with your ears just under… and you wonder about the water… in this moments that are so quiet and you imagine rusted ships in the deep. this really resonated with me… perfect with my sunday morning coffee, thank you beautiful wordsmith.

  • Lisa  Jewell
    Lisa Jewellover 5 years ago

    I felt like I sank down to the bottom of the ocean floor. Through a porthole I watched this scene play out.

    Sublime imagery….xx

  • Shanina Conway
    Shanina Conwayover 5 years ago

    Aww… Pj…drowning the cold little beginnings of yesterdays….magical…or should I say aaaargh….;)

  • Priya ...
    Priya ...over 5 years ago

    Oooh what cold hard calculation in the first verse. Baths can be equally comforting or sinister. I love the premeditation and the very deliberate drownings of the “cold little beginnings”
    Very nice

  • Rhinovangogh
    Rhinovangoghover 5 years ago

    Are you sure you are not from Japan? This is Haiku or damn near like it. great piece!

  • Traceyisanozzy
    Traceyisanozzyover 5 years ago

    Stay away from the plank……..ends up too deep when you jump…
    Love this, I could almost hear little drops of water dripping from the tap :) xx

  • natapee
    natapeeover 5 years ago

    Can’t begin to say how much these words have affected me. I never said I could
    you didn’t ask me to

    So sublime. The words are just repeating over and over in my head.
    Thank you xx

  • BiographyofRed8
    BiographyofRed8over 5 years ago

    I especially love the vividness of these lines >_The water is an envelope
    inviting me to slip
    beyond<_ I saw this so visually not so much in an actual bath though (because that would be kind of weird yes) haha, sometimes your writing really takes me to magical places in its metaphors, this one took me away in such a small amount of time, in so few words.

  • pagan
    paganover 5 years ago

    the gentle open-edness of the last verse leaves lucky readers with shivers. beautiful work. xo

  • skinnyman
    skinnymanover 5 years ago

    will your pirate rescue you from davy jones locker, i hope so. lovely writing PJ :)

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