Yes Dear...................
On again On again
I love a good bum on a woman, it makes my day.
To me it is palpable proof of God’s existence, a posteriori.
Also I love breasts and arms and ankles, elbows, knees;
It’s the tongue, the tongue, the tongue on a woman that spoils the job for me.
Please understand I respect and admire the frailer sex
And I honour them every bit as much as the next misogynist.
But give some women the ghost of a chance to talk and thereupon
They go on again, on again, on again, on again, on again, on again, on.
I fell in love with a woman with wonderful thighs and hips
And a sensational belly. I just never noticed her lips were always moving.
Only when we got to the altar and she had to say “I do”
And she folded her arms and gathered herself and took in a breath and I knew
She could have gone on again, on again, on again till the entire
Congregation passed out and the vicar passed on and the choirboys passed through puberty.
At the reception I gloomily noted her family’s jubilant mood,
Their maniacal laughter and their ghastly gratitude.
She talks to me when I go for a shave or a sleep or a swim.
She talks to me on a Sunday when I go singing hymns and drinking heavily.
When I go mending my chimney pot she’s down there in the street,
And at ninety-five on my motorbike she’s on the pillion seat
Wittering on again, on again, on and again and again.
When I’m eating or drinking or reading or thinking or when I’m saying my rosary.
She will never stop talking to me; she is one of those women who
Will never use three or four words when a couple of thousand will easily do!
She also talks without stopping to me in our bed of a night;
Throughout the sweetest of our intimate delights she never gives over.
Not even stopping while we go hammer and tongs towards the peak -
Except maybe for a sigh and a groan and one perfunctory shriek.
Then she goes on again, on again, on again on and I must
Assume that she has never noticed that she’s just been interrupted.
Totally unruffled she is, and as far as I can see
I might just as well have been posting a letter or stirring up the tea!
She will not take a hint, not once she’s made a start.
I can yawn or belch or bleed or faint or fart – she’ll not drop a syllable.
I could stand in front of her grimly sharpening up an axe,
I could sprinkle her with paraffin, and ask her for a match -
She’d just go on again, on again, on again even more.
The hind leg of a donkey is peanuts for her, she can bore the balls off a buffalo.
“Mother of God,” I cried one day, “Oh, let your kingdom come
“And in the meantime, Mother, could you strike this bugger dumb?”
Well, believe it or not, she appeared to me then and there:
The Blessed Virgin herself, in answer to my prayer, despite the vulgarity,
Shimmering softly, dressed in blue and holding up a hand.
I cocked a pious ear as the Mother of God began.
Well she went on again, on again, on again, on, and I
Will have to state how very much I sympathise with the rest of the family.
Give some women the ghost of a chance to talk and thereupon
They go on again, on again, on again, on again,
And again, and again, and again, and again
They will go on again, on again, on again, on again, on again, on again, on.
Jake Thackeray
Greeting Cards, Matted Prints, Laminated Prints, Mounted Prints, Canvas Prints and Framed Prints
frogster
What a shot, its like the poor ole guy dosn’t stand a chance. lol
Rhana Griffin
Oh dear sweet Jebus… I think I have just had a vision of the future… and it aint pretty! Great capture… love the sidenotes!
Deborah Parkin
Brilliant – i think this says a lot about men as it does women – i am going to shut up now before you draw any conclusions – but did i say how much i like it …....
freebornman
Thanks Rhana…..... be warned eh?
freebornman
Too late Deb …..conclusions have been drawn….. you did say brilliant though!
freebornman
Doesn’t frogster or ‘didn’t’..................cheers.
Shanina Conway
Geez you go on and on freebornman ;)
Great image lol!
nodakami
what a nicely fitting title !
Your portraits are so expressive !
Paul Vanzella
this is BRILLIANT! It’s the title that makes it for me too – love this kinda work!
freebornman
Thanks indeed you guys…..... i could go on…...................and on.
GODD
THIS IS LOVELY!
micmac
Reminds me of Alice an old tv american program,very cool i love the title.
Michelle Shoos...
Great capture well done
rock
Super capture fbm
lisaraejohnston
Wonderful capture. So pure!
Incognita
I love the way that men complain about women talking… yet studies have shown that 1. men talk more (tho’ with a smaller vocab) than women; and b. they percieve any amount of talking by women as too much… even when men have contributed more than 3/4 of the noise…
Jake Thackeray being an extrordinarily prolix example…
Sharply observed pic tho’
freebornman
Yes dear…...........
JoTaylor
I sense a wicked sense of humour. I love this one
googa
What a brillant shot !
Jen Cannella
I just love their expressions. Image what they are both thinking right at that second…Excellent capture! : ]
Deri Dority
Yikes, which city is this all coming from? Great capture and the story that goes with this is genius.
Robyn Lakeman
Looks like my mother and father lol, great capture
Cathleen Taraw...
I don’t know which I’m favouring more; the photo or the monologue.
freebornman
Thankyou everyone
Robert Knapman
Georgeous humanity
Deborah Bowness
This is sooo funny! The photo itself, the title and the sidenotes too!!!
Dakolina
this is a priceless shot
reana123
i love your pictures and how you have captured conversations in a image =)
flamingalah
What grumps. Excellent photo and cautionary tale.
Dakolina
They look none too pleased but the picture is very pleasing.
Melissa Vowell
That poem is SO damn true. And my God it suits the picture. Here I go! On again on again on again ;P
Wendy Slee
got tears of mirth….
you bugger! I hope you got one of your own!
(that goes on and on and on and on….)
Patrick & Marg...
This is a great photo, they are just like someone I know in Ireland
elliewinds
fantastic capture!
freebornman
Thanks to you all. i must admit to this being my favourite i feel. i took this back in Sept and just a couple of weeks ago saw the same couple out on another spree. ..........they’re still together so she must do something right!
jegustavsen
Ha!!!!!!!!
nikki75
love this – simply brilliant.
Kelly J
I stopped laughing long enough to read the poem… then started up again!!! Brilliance!
coffeebean
Brilliant stuff…and that’s all I’ll say!!
sword
I have just been laughing out loud at the wonderful text and phot…..It is so true,as i said very recently to a young guy who is about to get married.The secret of a long and happy marraige is just to keep saying (YES DEAR) I go swimming a couple of times a week and there are always 4 women swimming in a line abreast ,nattering away, and they never get out of breath.The guy on the left looks like me on a good day…OOOHHH sorry for nattering on
freebornman replied
That’s alright dear….................
Anni Morris
Amazing image you’ve captured here. You can immediately se who is ‘the boss’. Poor guy looks like his ear has been bent a few thousand times.~ Anni :)
freebornman replied
Thank you Anni …. you’re right of course….. and thanks for the fav!