THE LOSS OF A CHILD
Where can one begin to imagine what it must feel like to lose a child? Who ever expects a child to die before a parent? But when it happens what can one do to stop the hurt and anger? The feelings of emptiness this family must feel inside will never be filled again. The two siblings, a brother and sister, will never be able to accept that their younger brother will no longer be there to tease, laugh with them, share the years ahead with them. They no longer have a special little brother to be proud of. He can no longer make them enjoy the beauty of being an aunt and uncle. And his parents? They will never enjoy their youngest son’s grandchildren or the life he had planned for himself.
Last night I received a phone call telling me that my friend’s son, Vincent, a brilliant final year student at Cambridge University, was knocked off his mountain bike by a car and died. Just like that, in an instance his life was ended. He was a student who had so much to live for, a son whose family have been split in two and will never understand why it had to happen to him. A youngest child who died in such a stupid way. His father John had to make the longest journey of his life to identify his baby boy. He said he looked like he was sleeping, so why couldn’t he wake up and it all be just a bad dream?
Today his mother will have to make the journey to get the body; cold words, as cold as he is now that his soul has left forever.
What must the driver who took away all this hope and happiness be feeling? He was going too fast and hit Vincent. He stopped, but multiple head injuries didn’t await the ambulance. I will never know but I hope that he will be forgiven for his sins. I hope he will be able to find some peace, somehow, throughout the rest of his life.
All I can do is be there for them. All I can do is support them in their grief and hold back the tears and sadness that I feel for them. God bless your beautiful soul, Vincent Carta.
Anthony Hedger
I am sorry for their loss. As you say all you can do is be there for them and a friend.
Valli aka Fra...
Thank you Tony.
Trish Cooper
Yes when a child dies it is such a tragic event. It disrupts the ‘natural order’ of things…a parent having to bury their child…..so many lives and families have been changed forever…in a single moment…..Was this an accident?? Did the driver stay, call 911, and try to help…I hope??? Or was it a hit and run…. I hope that is not the case because the driver will make his own journey of acceptance and acknowledgment sooo much harder… If it was an accident that is so hard to, because everyone will be saying if only there was a minute difference in the route Vincent was taking, or the driver was taking…ect. I am so sorry for your friends loss….the best thing you can do is to just be there as they travel through their steps in processing all of this…and for every person that journey will be difficult and take different amounts of time. Some will be at the stage of anger longer, some will be at the stage of trying to bargin with God longer, some will be at the stage of denial longer, and so on until everyone can reach some form of acceptance. That can take a long time, I was recently on a jury for the murder of a young boy, killed by another youth for the benefit of a gang. The murder happened a year ago, and both families are still far from any sense of closure or acceptance. I can tell you this though, all the support you give to your friend and her family will be deeply appreciated and remembered as they begin to try and move forward. Simply be there to lend a shoulder for them to lean on, an ear to listen as they talk, cry, scream, and question why, and arms to hold and give them strength and love…...they will remember you for these acts. My deepest condolences to their family and you…..please remember one more thing…....there is a limit to what you can do as far as support goes….dont drain yourself of so much energy, that you find yourself exhausted when they need you most…I am guilty of doing that, so wanted to just offer a little comment coming from personal experience. Their family and you are in my thoughts…...Love,Trisha
Valli aka Fra...
Thank you so much dear Trisha.
blissis
Oh – Val. That is so sad. I can’t begin to imagine thei pain and loss. My prayers are with them.And with you. Love, Lin
Valli aka Fra...
Thank you so much Blissis. Hugs..
madvlad
life is not fair,we need to love our special loves of our life,s ,so much!, and not be affraid to tell them often, too, i lost a wife much younger then me, she was suposed to bury me! not me her , and now i have a lovely daughter who is ill, so yes hug and then hug again for loved ones now!
Valli aka Fra...
Thank you so much. Sometimes I think life is not fair then I remember how much love and special memories I have of those who have gone before me. They live on through those memories. I’m very sorry for you wife and send healing energy to you beautiful daughter! Bless!
KevinH
Ever so sorry to hear that. My thoughts go out to you and Vincent’s family. May he rest in peace
kevin
Valli aka Fra...
Thanks so much Kevin.