In memory of Farex
I have some foul ducks floating along the
dirty streams of my dreams.
They settled in the back yard pool at my house and
they have been there for a long time.
There is another pet that I have too –Colin, my pet cockatoo
Colin the cocky was such a horny little toad.
He chased those ducks into a corner at the end of the road.
Then one day I stumbled accross him and instantly I knew.
What this dirty little bugger had been up to.
‘Oh my God, this really sucks’
Colin my cocky has been screwing my ducks.’
‘Colin’ you are sick. That is a rotten dirty trick you prick
that is a terrible thing to do and I am warning you.
that my ducks are off limits to you of there will be a blue.
I promise you if I catch you doing this againI will pull every feather out of your head,
FurtheI will tell everyone what you have been doing;you will wish you were dead.
You will be bald as a badger.
Yes every feather; not just a few,
and I will tell the whole world why I did this to you.’
Well I thought Colin got the message and that is for sure
but I couldn’t believe my what I was seeingwhey I came home next day and looked out the door.I had come home from work
and here were my ducks going bezerk.
My prized Mascovi was really in strife,Colin was chockers – going for his life.
I grabbed him – I was so pissed off“Do your remember. Do your remember what I saidabout pulling the feathers out of your head?
Well I am a man of my word you little turdand being a man of his word after
a promise had been said,
he pulled out every single feather from Colin’s head.
‘Now as punishment,I am having some guests over for dinner,
You will be on your perch -your head looking very much thinner.
Everyone will know what you have been doing
because I’ve already told them about my ducks.
My poor beautiful ducks hat you have been screwing.
As the guests come through the door,You will direct the traffic all night.
‘Ladies to the left, gents to the right.
Ladies left and gents right.’
That night saw poor embarrassed sad Colin feeling so low
and by the smiles of disgrace on their faces,Colin knew that they all did know.
Poor Colin, he certainly was a sight,
‘Ladies to the left – Gents to the right.’
Suddenly bald Colin was confused
for there in front of him was a man so tall,
He too had a head that was also bald.
“Ladies to the left. Gents to the right?
Where should I place this bald codger tonight?
I know what he’s been doing so where will I place him.Where should he be?
‘You! You duck f***** c*** , you get up here with me.’