Private moments

Martin Derksema
Author: Martin Derksema
Word Count: 116
previous browse writing next

Private moments

Antoine Dagobert asked me if I wanted to write a poem on his beautiful picture Private moment
I had a try. Difficult, because English is not my language. Well, here it is: my first poem in English.

I explored the landscape
of your perfect body,
obsessed,
like Burton,
in his eager to find
the source of the Nile.
Together we sailed the river of love,
sparkling in blue moonlight,
watering the soil of the ancient land
we came from and long to be.
The salt on your skin
made me drunk and desperate to find
the cool, fresh water of Lake Victoria,
that would purify me,
from the original sin.
On our way we shared
the most intimate thoughts,
and whispers and sounds.
But when the sweet war
of making love was over,
I entered, again,
the blatant zone of my deepest fears.
It is there
where I have
my most private moments.

  • Elaine van Dyk

    Elaine van Dyk

    This is wonderful – so beautifully written and very moving.

  • Martin Derksema

    Martin Derksema

    Thanks, Whirligig. Appreciate it.

  • BLYTHART

    BLYTHART

    Forget about whether English is your first language or not … this is an excellent poem.

  • Martin Derksema

    Martin Derksema

    Thank you Dave!

  • Deborah Parkin

    Deborah Parkin

    wow! This is incredibly moving and thoughtful – i love this idea of love feeling like war – or love-making like war – and how we build up to these moments and then go back to being on our own in our own private world – this is extremely thought provoking and an extremely vivid poem.

  • Martin Derksema

    Martin Derksema

    Thanks a lot for your beautiful comment, Deborah.

  • Susan Grissom

    Susan Grissom

    Flyboy ,you paint a beautiful poem with words. The imagery is perfect. It flows well

  • Martin Derksema

    Martin Derksema

    Thanks, Susan. I was rather insecure about this, but my convidence now starts to grow to an acceptable level of anxiety … lol

  • shanghaiwu

    shanghaiwu

    this is beautiful

  • Antoine Dagobert

    Antoine Dagobert

    Your writing is excellent Martin!!keep doing that..and it is my honor to see our “Private Moment” goes side by side together!Keep doing it my friend

  • Martin Derksema

    Martin Derksema

    Thanks shanghaiwu!

    I’ll write untill I die, Antoine. It is a faith thing.

  • madvlad

    madvlad

    another painting by martin the soulful lover of truths and hopes, lovely thoughts of how love seeking is both rewarding to the emotions needs and how it can be painfully empty after it,s run, more? poems please,

  • Martin Derksema

    Martin Derksema

    Thanks a million, Vlad, for your thoughtful and generous comment.

  • MaryO

    MaryO

    This is a beautiful written poem, it is such a pleasure reading it.
    I am glad you shared it with us.

  • Martin Derksema

    Martin Derksema

    Thanks, MaryO.

  • Suzanne German

    Suzanne German

    ooooh – how potent and intense – this is real fusion – love love love it!!!

  • Martin Derksema

    Martin Derksema

    Thanks for your enthusiasm, Suzanne.

  • Steve

    Steve

    Great English – I like the ‘sweet war’ which is a good description of those moments/ I will look at the picture next, but of course the poem stands on it’s own.

  • Martin Derksema

    Martin Derksema

    Hey, thanks a lot, Steve.

  • saan

    saan

    If English is not your first language then you do it great credit. This is truely a beautiful poem I especially love your catch line “but when the sweet war of making love was over” delicate yet strong in decribing intimacy.
    Well done keep writing.

    saan

  • Martin Derksema

    Martin Derksema

    Thanks a lot for your generous comment, saan.

  • Jeff Burns

    Jeff Burns

    Fabulous work. Very well done

  • Helene Kippert

    Helene Kippert

    Wonderful work Martin!

  • Martin Derksema

    Martin Derksema

    Thanks, Jeff and Helene.

  • maka1967

    maka1967

    looking at the self with a discerning eye is true consciousness. great inspiring work!

  • helene ruiz

    helene ruiz

    fabulous work as usual!!!

Add your comment

You need to login or signup to add your comment to this work.