Some days are less and some days are more
Finding a place to view without prejudice or involvement can be challenging
Hopes and dreams often block the spot so cleverly
I am easily blinded by hope and tomorrows wonder
I should know by now that this reality is as it should be
Yet my conceit leads me to believe I can help it

For many years I let myself believe that I had something to offer life
Some insight perhaps or knowledge of worth and value
For many years I sought opportunities to try to make change
I so wanted to assist in any way I knew, alas I knew nothing well
Molecules and atoms begged me to stay a while and play
I so wanted to be a part of the wonder alas I had only an observer seat

I spent my years in vain pursuit of the way things should or could be
I struggled to learn how to be useful and important to those who might care
I grew yet never achieved the success I so dearly sought
One day I awoke and realized that life was a private party and I wasn’t invited
I didn’t have the credentials that everyone got at birth

In my early times, I thought everyone was like me, blissfully I took the fools journey for many years. Looking at the wonder of being and dreaming. One day I found myself in the mirror and for a moment I believed. I tried to change myself, to be like you, to laugh and cry, but I couldn’t imagine why. I was too simple, too easy, too generous, too kind, to know why. I couldn’t imagine a reality where being might lie, might, steal, might pretend to be what they were not. Yet I too learned to pretend, to survive. I had to pretend to be like you if I was to have a life with you. I had to learn how to lie, to defend my pretension of being just like you.

Later in time I hoped and dreamed there was someone like me
Everyone had a part, a piece of me, if only they could let it out, to be free
The land of if only was a place I didn’t believe might be but hoped none-the-less
As the years passed by and left their records on my form, my body became worn
I managed, still wondered and dreamed of a reality of wonder consciously
I left my dreams one day in a sacred place where they might be safe from harm
I covered them with hope and a child’s innocence, like me, I left them alone in this reality
It was time for me

Some times I wonder if they have been found and used
Some times I search through life to see if they have grown into new forms
Like leaves in Autumn, dreams change with time, absorbing the melancholy of thought
Until they become too heavy to float and fall upon the waters of consciousness