Seems that’s how life has been, nothing personal, of course. Early on, I sought to commune, to join, to fellowship, to engage. Rejection, I discovered, was nothing personal. I spent years trying to be like you, to breathe like you, to pulse like you, to think like you. Being taken advantage of is nothing personal. I offered you my devotion, the universe, and all that might be. My presents trashed, you left for another, nothing personal. So it has been. Personal belonged to others. Nothing belonged to me. And so it was, the first rule in my book of rules. Nothing personal. Of course, having a body makes that rule difficult if possible to enforce or apply. This is nothing new. Zen came long before I was allowed to use this body. Of course, I came long before Zen, even before time and the flicker. Rules didn’t make sense before.
Life for me has been mostly uncomfortable. I don’t exactly fit into this body and the body was damaged during the preparation. Some internal connections could not be completed. This is in part due to the crude tools used in the process. It is also due in part to the sense of self developed to support the shy creature. At times, I feel awkward and stilted. Unable to move freely, the body feels like a suit of amour requiring manual action to move. It is tiring and can become painful. Unable to stop the leaking, there is constant chatter and noise filling the brain. The act of looking causes everything in the filed of vision to be cataloged and compared with the world model. Aberrations and changes are described and evaluated. Possible explanations and future projections are mapped onto the current consciousness with options to save updates to the world model. This all happens in ‘relative’ real time. Nothing is missed. Constant updates and all the chatter make it hard for me to go out in public. I prefer a world that is fixed and the same. Minor variations on a theme. This reduces the chatter and noise below the level of consciousness. With nothing to process, the brain is able to relax and explore rather and capture and evaluate. The body and its damage will never be able to ‘relax’. The noise and chatter from the injuries and existing conditions cannot be quelled, as long as there is a leak. Choosing comfort became the second rule.
It has always been important to me. The great IT. One way I have of honoring IT is through expression. Expression in all its modes. Not that I do well in them all. I long ago discovered a secret associated with growth. If there is a desire or appropriate stimulus, forward and positive change occurs. If you get better at what you do, then continue. If you get worse then quit. It matters why and how. What and when are less important. Time is like a stream that moves forward. If you are not moving along, then perhaps you have died or you might be one of the phantoms, human hosts without anyone living there. Over the years it has become more and more apparent that the zombies or phantoms are far more numerous then necessary. Attempts to reduce the population of phantoms is generally futile. They always seem to come back. There might be an ethical issue here. However it is generally agreed that Humans are just a collection of atoms and molecules, that may or may not have the understanding and comprehension to fully appreciate the fact that they are beasts of burden. Nothing less and nothing more. There is no evidence of flesh or internal organs persisting except through reproduction. Due to radiation, replicas are not exact copies. Over time information gets lost or becomes too diluted to be percept able. Persistence in that fashion seems an illusion. Somehow the sense of responsibility vanishes in that mode, perhaps that is why the phantoms don’t grow. Choosing growth became the third rule.
Rules and Structure and the Great Dams
The builders of the great dams discovered rules and structures. It would have been impossible to build the dams otherwise. Before time there was only thought, if even that. More like, the idea of thoughts, if thoughts could manifest. The information so profound, yet so ethereal, as if comprised of mostly nothing. The rules they applied were simple. They contained practical common sense ideas and were expressed through action. The dams for example utilized the idea that there exists at least two things, me and everything else, even if the everything else is nothing, it is still two things. As the idea began to manifest, it began to solidify into a structure. This structure, an interface, the thing that transforms the me into everything and vis versa is the fundamental building block of existence and was used to construct the dams. To work, the interface has to operate at the quantum level, since this is where the chaos is most intense. Because it utilizes a quantum effect, it also leaks. Uncertainty about the exact definition of everything each moment, causes the interface to misrepresent or even occlude information (organized energy). With some clever positioning and multiple interfaces, the dams continue to provide a nearly chaos free environment. The leaks are most visible near the great dams and are far from the elevator in each level.
The tools were constructed in the higher levels, some before the elevator was built. Before the elevator, it would take more than a lifetime to journey to upper levels. Of course, there were some short cuts, but the risk of evaporation was significant. Nay shortcut usually involves traveling through deserted landscapes without milestones or landmarks to guide. Never realizing position and completion until the journeys end. This is how the tools built in the upper levels came to be used in the construction of the elevator. Tools were also developed that further sealed the great dams. The last major fix took place thousands of years ago. The most notable effect was the near elimination of the Human common mind. Everything including Humans are part of the great dams either directly of indirectly. Persistence abhors chaos and depends upon structure. A fairy tale of ever after. The shy creature wondered about the idea.
The world (reality) was built out of chaos. The machines and structures that perform the tasks of manifesting reality are busy at work. We generally are not aware of the functioning of our bodies at the chemical and molecular level (domain)