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Strange ObjectsWhen the doctor said how long you had to live, you took the news better. I’m sorry I ruined so many breakfasts, dissolving into tears. Look…

The Last Ascension of Lexi CatterFrank Knott (President, Barongara Dog Obedience Club): Most people don’t realise it but we’re in the middle of a pet explosion.…

SpeedAt the top of Baldwin Street Dunedin, there’s an enormous man lying in bed, in the drizzling rain. At the moment he’s satellited by four re…

City That Never Sleeps“Once upon a time this city was a nice place to live. Nice people lived here.” / “Are you warming up for another one of your in…

100 word stories #6: Why not to buy a puppyThe other day my sister confessed to me that she no longer says fuck in front of the dog, due to the slim possibility that it’s the reincar…

SmileNSFW

100 word stories #5: RecycledMy friend Debbie says getting divorced is like finding yourself washed up on the world’s ugliest beach. Every aspect of your life bec…

100 word stories #4: One hundred thingsI’ve just added “learning to eat with chopsticks” to the list of 100 things I don’t want to do before I die. / Also…

100 word stories #3: The Costume PartyToday, you will punch a skeleton. / That level of detail would renew my faith in horoscopes. / Sagittarius: Through a panto horse-head you’…

100 word stories #2: UnderpantsFor three weeks I wore the underpants of the undead. / This is what happened. / Before Christmas, the man who lives next door to me got sic…

100 word stories #1: Fritzy“How did you get that scar?” / “I was hit by a dog?” / “You mean attacked?” / “No, hit. In the head. By a Chihuahua. When I was eight.” / “…

derivative writing challenge #545594It begins at the station on a Monday morning. An overly full carriage of white-collar soup has been upturned all over the platform, in the …

The Seven Wonders of the ApocalypseTo get from the Mausoleum of Halicarnassus to the Temple of Artemis, the man rides a 12-speed bicycle. For three days, he pedals into a lig…

One-TwentyIn Dublin you can get a cappuccino two minutes from anywhere, says the girl on the travel show. I bet you can get a blowjob two minutes fro…

Burrs and ThistlesYou can’t figure out what’s wrong with a marriage by pulling it apart and looking at all the pieces. You’ll never get it …