Dedicated
to all the friends in my life
to those who have gone ahead
and to those I left behind.
Do not follow me too soon
for I will be here waiting how ever long you are

To My family
My love for you all
has no bounds

When you take a substance you take on an addiction.
if you choose to continue that addiction
then you have to educate yourself.
If you don’t then you learn how to suffer.
To deal with your demons
is to have a life.
To be in denial is to merely exist.

This book is the writing of Michael John Leach, at times it will appear chaotic that is because his life was just that, chaotic.
It is a compilation of his life memory’s written by him on scraps of paper or in notebooks. I will try to keep any words by others including myself to the minimum and will be merely there to attempt to join those writings together or to give context.
Michael is the first person to shout he is no role model, he has done many things in his life that he regreted. He wanted to tell the everyone about the danger that may lay in the path ahead, do not listen to those that tell you "this will do you no harm " or “its not that addictive” or even that its cool Because believe me when i say,
It will do harm, it is addictive,and it ain’t cool.
We wanted to highlight the pain and suffering that many of his friends are going through and have gone through.
And the total lack of residential rehab facilities in the wee county.

This story is about a day but to understand that day fully we have to start at the road that lead to that place.

£50 to the money lenders
£6.00 for electric
£10.00 for fine
£20.00 drug debts

leaves
£8.00 for tobacco and food

Part 1

But when I got home that day the fun of my childhood was done, my Mum and Dads marriage was now over. And before me and Caroline my sister knew it we were suddenly living in a place called Abbyview, with a new stepdad who we had both known as a family friend, Duncan. A bloody affair as adults sometimes do.
I knew even then as a kid that I would have to go to a new school, make new friends and make a new life.
I was in another jungle that day not like the time I stood in Celtic park this was an urban jungle. another ball park all together.
Abbeyview was a tough poor and hard place, a place with a bad reputation.
But then who knew I would settle in quite so well , I was twelve and I made new friends quickly and one of those guys was a right tough guy called “Whiskey”. It was in third year that he crowned me with the nickname off “Mental”, soon I would hear that nickname being shouted across the playground I had fitted in very well.
A few good friends and a couple of really close ones like Steven who lived a couple of streets away from me in abbeyview, he had a sister who was three years older than me I think or I seem to remember her name was Donna, she was well fit I fancied her from day one. She was my fantasy girl and I was still a virgin, however i did have my chances with her but in the end like all young horny guys I bottled it.
I can mind my mum used to say it was always the girls at the door for me and yet i was still a virgin, I would have preferred to have been a male slut more though.
Anyway as I said things were going well school was going great with good grades and positive teacher reviews, it was some of the best times I can remember of when I was at school.

However my world was about to take another turn it was a little bit later on that my mum fell pregnant which as I come to remember it was a hard one, she would have to spend weeks in bed with her legs held high in the air with a wooden contraption that Duncan had made for her in an attempt to stop her losing the baby which was in the end successful as in time that baby became my little sister Sheree.

Money lenders outside the P.O.
Threats of broken legs
as i did not pay £25.00 last week
ended up in the falkirk royal (self harm)
Sister cashed my money for me
thought she was doing good
buying messages, elec and gas
a pair of jeans has left me
£30.00 in debt

Part 2

So soon I would have two sisters Caroline and Sheree, my mum decided before the birth that she was going to have to move back to Sauchie to live with my gran until we could get our own house. On hearing this news I was devastated and cried a lot saying I did’ nt want to leave Woodmill high school telling mum pleading with her could I not share a taxi with a boy called Raymond from Clackmannan who also went to woodmill, he had special needs and therefore was provided with his own private taxi to get to school, to me this was the perfect answer.
mind you thinking back I never could understand why he was called a special needs kid he appeared perfectly normal to me.
Anyway it turned out that it wasn’t possible for me to share the taxi with raymond as the council wouldn’t insure me for that daily journey to woodhill high school as i did not have any special needs.
Fuck I was twelve and just becoming a teenager and I felt my life was turning upside down I didn’t want to have to go to another new school this time Lornshill Academy, it was two thirds through the school term and my old friends who i had known before I moved in the first time were now at another school in stirling as they were catholics. this life was just not working out as i had hoped.

I think though it was when I was about thirteen when I started my rebellion against the authority and against my parents or any adult in general began.
We only stayed a short time with gran and it was not long before we moved to a new house in rosebank, I remember this as a quiet time with not much happening, however it was just before we moved there that I would meet my first real best pal, I was sitting looking out of the bedroom window at grans when first a van then a car appeared and new neighbors began moving in up stairs this is when I first met Ian and Dawson Michie as well as there sister laura,it was with Ian in particular that we would become very good friends and I think we helped guide each other into all sorts of mischief and trouble.

Drug debt £40.00
Angie £35.00
Unc Alan £5.00

tobacco £6.00
£7.00 left for messages
Coffee,frozen chips,
steak bakes,washing up liquid
milk,bread diluting juice.
plus envelope and first class stamp.

There is an abbey where the monks help addicts,
No wi buckfast either

“If you come through, there’s a gift at the end of it. That gift is your life.”
Stuart Brindle

Residential rehabilitation program’s should be at least three months long.
Clients must be retained in the program.
Appropriate aftercare should be included as part of the treatment.

There are 21 residential units in Scotland None in Clackmannanshire or Stirling
No money No tick no chance

No life!!!!

08000556688 Might help!

The period following acute opioid withdrawal is often characterized by symptoms such as fatigue, depression, poor tolerance of stress and craving for drugs.

I do not pretend I was an angel
I wish I could start my life again.
But in life there is only but one go.
No reset game no extra lives
No one pound coins for another shot.

Don’t just say no
Mean it.

soon we moved into that new home in Rosebank and I became best friends with another guy there Barry. I thought it was great hanging with Barry as his mum R. and her traveller boyfriend D. who were both alcoholics let Barry do whatever he wanted ! at the time I remember thinking this was cool it was not till later I began to realize that life for Barry was extremely hard with alcoholic parent and stepdad who used violence against him as well as his mother. I never really noticed all of this going on at the time and barry never talked about it so we just got on and done our thing.
Things get a little bit jumpy here after all these years of addiction to alcohol and drug abuse my mind is not what it used to be. it has made me a little bit forgetful of the exact order of events that took place in my life.
But for a while before me and Bazz went right of the rails Barry was staying with Dad and stepmum in mansfield ave Sauchie! we as usual were jumping about doing as we pleased Barry had a cousin “Nana” who’s real name was Ian.
He was the top man of the gang that called themselves the Sauchie Service Casuals, and we got to become the baby crew. and to be true with all that back up at such an early age i have to say it felt great.
we were jumping around with lots of mates wee kyle, michie, John Davidson Barry and Ian’s cousin from clackmannan another guy who became a good friend who was a scottish boxing champion which had its advantages having backup like that with a reputation for fighting did no harm to us at least,We fought under the name of S1S. (Sauchie 1 service)
But to bring us all into line was a guy called Jags he hung around with us Sauchie guys, I was a bit jealous of him as his mum owned a pub in Alloa he was always well dressed wearing things like designer chiptie jeans and a cool

designer Chevignon jacket.
expensive designer clothing that all the casuals were wearing at the time. He was an important person in this tale as he “Jags” introduced me to the second drug that i’d get involved with.
The first one was not in fact illegal Magic Mushrooms it did become a class “a” drug if made into tea which we all regularly did, I only ever ate them once yuk all the wee beasties and dirt on them put me right off eating them raw.
However before the mushrooms we were all heavily involved in abusing solvents Butane gas, lighter fuel glue even tipex in fact anything that would give you a buzz and we would try them all.

I suppose I have to admit here that it was this abuse along with peer pressure we were under that would eventually lead some of us directly to our own hell of narcotic abuse, and which although I did not know it at the time would turn into a 23 year ongoing battle with addiction that would see me lose just about all i’ve ever loved in my life. My wife my children my home, I would put the narcotics before them all
i’m just grateful i’ve always had my family they have never been that far away and are always in my heart.

Re-verify google /msn account
get g-mail account

yahoo ID AND E-MAIL

Try to activate you-tube
mobile account.

check if I need any verification codes sent to mobile.

Send Kisses and flowers or something to girls on FB
check with Adele B what’s happened to connie
Send Kerry and Emma msg
& Louise & Michelle
Libary No 309011323

Part 3

So me and Barry were about to begin a career in committing petty criminal acts which all started when I went to visit him one day at his dads.
His dad answered the door telling me he’s upstairs just go up, as I entered bazzes room he was sitting there with two tins of gas Plenty of fags and a large bottle of diamond white cider. Me being just like him came out with where the hell did you get the money for all this?
I can remember he mumbled go check behind the magazine rack and when I did and found a bundle of notes of between £80-£120 in notes twenty odd years ago that was a small fortune to anyone let alone to a solvent abuser like me.
It turned out that he’d crept into a house and helped himself to the cash of two older guys it seemed so easy.
I later learned that he had found a set of keys which gave him access to the house easily.
We spent the next few days sitting in the park getting high on gas and drink and chilling but it did not take that long before the talk was of how we were going to get our next high and I did’nt know then but that was the point that my narcotic journey was about to start.
Magic mushrooms were suggested there was wee kyle bazz and Nana and the sis they picked anywhere from 80-200 each and the high that they got from them left them with euphoric feelings and in fits of giggling at absolutely nothing. with the hallucinations for the first time I seen the world differently , I was’nt aware that in the next few days whilst I thought I was on an amazing narcotic high that was free would lead me to
one of absolute debt ridden Hell!

To The One That I Love

To the one that I love
with love today and always

When I’m with you
nothing else matters
I want you to know
just how much
I Love You

You always know
how to make me feel
so special I’m lost
without you. Words
can’t describe my love
for you
For Adele

The greater good!

By Michael John Leach (http://www.facebook.com/Leachie1306) · Wednesday, 15 September 2010
Hate me for what i am, not for what you think i am…and it’s better to hav loved and lost than never to hav loved at all… Tried b4 and failed, just got 2pick ur self up and try again focusing on the end game >Pride< and will it no be worth it, no?

Beatin the odds . 90%>+ never do, this explains it a bit- :
by Michael John Leach (http://www.facebook.com/Leachie1306) on Wednesday, 01 September 2010 at 14:12
So now little man uve grown tired of grass, all that dam acid, speed, cocaine ^ hash. When someone pretending 2b a friend introduces u 2 miss Heroin. Well honey b4 u start foolin with me, let me inform u of how it will b. For i will seduce u & make u my slave. I’ve sent men much stronger than u str8 2 there grave. You’ll think u can nver become a disgrace, and end up addicted 2 the poppy seed waste. You’ll start inhaling me 1afternoon, then you’ll take me in 2 ur arms very soon. Then once i’ve entered deep in 2 ur veins, the craving will drive u nearly insane. You’ll need loads of money as uve probably been told. For darling i’m more expensive than 24ct gold. You’ll swindle ur mother 4 less than a buck, and turn in 2 something vile ^ corrupt. You’ll mug ^ you’ll steal 4 my narcotic charm, and only feel content when am bak in ur arm. Then you’ll realize the monster uve grown ^ solemnly swear 2 leave me alone. But if u think uve got that mystical knack, then honey just try gettin me of ur bak. 2b c Author Unknown

rt 4

MY ADDICTIVE PERSONALITY DISORDER

This also applies to an alcoholic or any kind of addict,
Swapping one form of substance for another does not work
Because it keeps the addiction alive Aye 21 fuckin years alive.

Gazza says obsession is having to turn on and of a light 5 times
or to open and close a door 5 times

I am possessed rather than obsessed,

But My number is 6.

Try to access full support from The Alloa Labour party for quicker access to funding for me to be able to find a residential long term rehab to get treatment for my own illness of Addictive personality disorder, which should be an illness recognized by the medical authorities world wide.
Positivity that being six months on from now that I will be clean and on a part time course in social care my aim is to teach people in a personal but educated way.
I would love to do a survey in Clackmannanshire just to start to find out the budget the government has to give the police and the courts as well as the criminal justice system i.e. probation, ,community service etc. and the social work and match that to how much it would cost to offer a service to an addict to fight the addiction just how much money could be saved.
Alcohol kills more people each year than all the illegal classes of narcotics together., isn’t this ironic.
How much would it cost for a service to take all those addicted iv drugs and put them through a course of properly worked out support and treatment with doctors nurses and councillor ect: the cost in monetary terms alone would surly be money better spent and in the long term money saved.

How can we continue to go down this road where the criminals need to be committing crimes just to fund there habit, this is a road where only the criminals win. How many millions could be saved or diverted to better services.