The Ersatz Elevator, by Lemony Snicket
Warning: If you value your sanity and happiness, you will stop reading right now. The following is a summary of one of the most woeful and dreary stories you will ever read. Further reading may cause uncontrollable sobbing, frequent nightmares, and regular visits to a therapist. (Excuse me while I lie down.) Continue at your own risk. I highly recommend that you don’t.
While Mr. Poe is away looking for the Quagmire triplets, the Baudelaire orphans settle in with their new guardians: Esme and Jerome Squalor. As this sad story unfolds, the Baudelaires are once again faced with terrible secrets and mysteries, and Count Olaf. This woe betide story also includes parsley soda, an auctioneer with bad grammar, faux welding torches, and a red herring. If you are looking for a tale with a happy ending, look elsewhere.
Comments
Is this all?
It had to be 150 words or less. So, I guess, yes.
– filfil
O I am sorry…Who is Lemony Snicket? I like the sound of it.
He is the author of A Series of Unfortunate Events. You can go to his website, the link is in the description. Thanks for reading and commenting so quickly.
– filfil
Parsely soda might be good =)
You should try it!
– filfil
Is it okay for everyone to read? I mean, like Family reading? Because if it is bad I do not want to look at it but otherwise I am curious!
Oh, no! They are good books. it’s just that the author jokes around and keeps saying in the story “Stop reading” there is nothing bad about them!
– filfil
My son’s best friend loved Lemony Snicket books as kids, and I loved the movie. This is a great homage….I hope that even though the Flash Fiction challenge has you limited, that you can expand on this and share it in the Short Story group.
Yeah, they are great books. I have never seen the movie, but the videos on the website are hilarious. Thanks for reading.
– filfil
Ohhh I wish I could read them =)
You really should. they are great and you can learn lots of things by reading them.
– filfil
haha! great stuff! you’ve really captured the essence of it! i loved the film but haven’t actually read any of the books….ok another for the reading list!
So glad you thought so! You better get started before that list gets too long!
– filfil
I’ve always liked Lemony Snicket’s humor, especially when he brings up phrases such as “into the belly of the beast” and they end up being literal instead of metphoric. I haven’t read them in a while and have yet to read the last few. I better catch up now, you’ve rekindled my interest with this.
-b
I especially like it when he defines words his own way. That’s really funny. I also like how he incorporates his life into the story. I’m glad you have read them,they are very enjoyable. Have fun reading!
– filfil
Noooooooo… not an auctioneer with bad grammer! I will avoid it at all cost.
Haha…you do that!
– filfil
Haha, I’m glad I read all the comments, as that added to it for me :)
I’m like Bex (Miri), I’ve seen the movie but not read the books. Might have to have a look!
Glad you liked it. But if you read them, I didn’t tell you to.
– filfil