Hope?
Sometime I wish I wasn’t so possitive and full of hope. Sometimes I wish I could wallow in total misery and god knows in thepast I have, but where did that get me?
Nowhere; I lost friends and almost myself to it.
Since I have always looked on the ‘bright’ side and however difficult asked for help – of any kind – to get me out of a fix. Yet how can I ask for a ‘new life’ please coz I feel I am too far down the wrong path to make the ‘right’ turn.
I’m in a dull job that I don’t belive in; the people are nice and the job is secure but that’s all there is to say about it. I don’t want the things I love to be ‘just a hobby’. I want to live off my writing even my painting but I started too late and the kvetch of ‘am I good enough?’ Kicks in. I want so much yet it all seems so out of reach.
1) I want recognition
2) I want to earn a living writing/painting
3) I don’t want to be on my own anymore.
4) I want a child.
But my history is not promising with my procrationation and fear of EVERYTHING appears to have won.
I still hope though, that some gorgeous man with connections finds me, then whisks me off my feet empregnates me and loves me for the rest of our lives and at the same time I ‘m hailed as the genius no one ever suspected!!!
Yeh right!
madvlad
goood thoughts but honey we are all in thr same boat, scared poop, but we keep rowing anyway hell i once had panic disorder until i was the one making me scared your your only problem, love yah n the rest will happen and no one is going tah save yah but you and asking for help from ,you and your god of hope it all hard work amen your in charge now lead your self home to you
fatchickengirl
My problem is when I pick myself up to get a life I usually end up getting two and burning myself out!!!