an old journal entry - 'the ride home'

It is asleep next to me.
No we’re not in bed together.
We are on the ride home.

It is very tired from a day of nothing!
It sits slumped, covering its head and upper body with my hoodie.
This is to hide from the light…and so I won’t bother it.

The ride seems quicker on the way home or longer…I can’t remember these days
I am watching 2 younglings, girls. Sisters. They sit facing me…going the wrong way. Backwards.
I always hate sitting that way. Makes me feel odd.

They whisper and giggle. They are drawing pictures. From their looks. The pictures are of me. I wish I could see the picture and keep it. I wonder if I could see myself in it. Or what they would have me doing or what scene I would be placed in.

They are interesting. More interesting than IT next to me.

I like observing youth. Nothing creepy. They just intrigue me. I like hearing them tell stories. How they trail in and out. No purpose no structure. Its wonderful and honest and far more thrilling than anything traditional.

Their mannerisms and tones of voice. I twist my hair around my finger as I think about when I was a kid.

It’s like listening to people learning to read. When I used to teach them. at St. Joes
I like the separation of in their voices…breaking down words….

Talk back radio I love.
People who over pronounce and have very salivary speech.
Old 007 movies – the scuffing of their boots amidst a ‘fist fight’
Crackling on a record.
White noise
Jewelry infomercials.
How they describe details.

I like hearing stories when the person doesn’t expect a response or when people annotate their movements when they think no one’s looking.
Old people telling me about their day. Everything is included. And when they don’t get the order right they go back and correct. And say “now. Where was I…oh yes, the red sock…”

I get sent into this trance like state of numb calm. Like a kitty cat when its mum holds it by the scruff of its neck.

I know I am not insane but I should be.

The kids are gone.
The girl felt sick from going backwards…told ya!

That’s how I learned.
Plus it just seems wrong…I like to see what’s a head…not what just passed.

IT is still asleep. I think. It twitches every so often…that’s a good sign. Means It is still Itself.
I see those sisters in the distance in their new seats. The older one seems like she is going to be ill soon.
The motion is stirring her. I’m glad I grew out of that.

I hope I was as entertaining on long rides…when I was young.

Oh god Its awake…and groaning and stretching in my face.

an old journal entry - 'the ride home'

FacieB

Carlton North, Australia

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