So I’ve realised that I am head over heels for a lad to the point that even though we’re not together together I can’t random hook up any more.
I’ve become a one man woman…
Two weeks ago sticking to one partner sounded horrid.
But, last night I went to a Uni(college for our friends across the ocean) party where I didn’t know any one. There were a few attractive men there very cool attractive men. But I had no drive to get with one of them – which is sooo odd for me these days.
We got very very drunk (Gosh darn goon!!!) and then we all got very very VERY high (curse you weed!) But I still did not want to get with any of them.
But when we had decided that we all couldn’t be fucked going home when we were kicked out of the party and that all 5 of us sleeping in the van they have -which only has three seats the rest of the space is a mattress – I ended up hooking up with one…
The entire time I was kissing him though, I was thinking of the other lad and I feel so horrid for using someone like that. And I’m so very shocked that it turned out that way.
I was using this guy because the man I want wasn’t around… makes me feel bad
And I have to see this guy tonight, he’s going to think he has a chance of getting with me again but he doesn’t and I don’t know what to say to him “sorry I actually really really like another guy and I was so drunk/ stoned last night and thats the only reason I messed around with you”
I dunno it’s the one hook up I truely regret