This painting was done as a piece for my first year of Uni. We were given the task of doing a self portrait but where told we could paint something else if we didn’t want to do a self portrait. When I began this piece I’d decided not to do a self portrait as I didn’t interested me and I had little ability to do so. When I started this painting I had only a very vague idea what I wanted to do but as soon as I started painting it just flowed out with very little effort. I felt almost in a trance as the paint rolled off the brush and I realised I was indeed unintentionally doing a self portrait.

There are two faces embedded in the lower left corner sharing a third eye. One face is hot reds and oranges showing the serious fiery side of my personality which is under the surface of a calmer more collected part of my personality painted in cooler greens and blues which is the side most people see. The red stalactites symbolise hurts and heart aches where the blood has seeped from wounds and solidified into the stalactites. The stars symbolise hope in Jesus which attaches to the wounds of life. Stars were used as it was a star that led the wise men to Jesus. The dark confusing mass of claws represent personal battles I’d faced and would have to face in the future. Below them is two colourful claws, one in the top right corner pointing to me to go a certain way and the other in the centre is coming toward the cooler part of my face. The claws are attached by twisted colours appearing quite beautiful. These claws represent Satan trying to attack my mind through the cooler part of my personality which is the easiest part to affect. The claw pointing to the top right corner is trying to miss-direct me away from my hope. Below this claw is a semi genital shape. It was done fairly vague so as not to be to off putting or perverted but represents the battle for sexual purity as I see it in my Christian belief. The stalactites attached to this section are scars caused in this particular battle as so many scars are obtained in the pursuit of a lifelong relationship, but once again hope in the form of stars are attached. An old song I’d heard once about Jesus turning your scars into stars holds meaning in this instance.

The claw attacking my mind and the confusing mess above it are being over shadowed by a lightening bolt which represents God’s amazing power overcoming darkness and Satan. The three eyes of the two faces are firmly fixed on this bolt of lightening as focusing on God rather than whatever is against me. Beyond that is an eagle soaring and being followed by other birds in the distance. This was derived from one of my favourite verses in the bible: “even though the young man grows tired and weak and stumbles and falls, those who wait upon the Lord will renew their strength, they will rise up on wings as an eagle. They will run and not grow weary they will walk and not faint”. The birds following are others that are inspired by overcoming.