I had a dream!

Digging in the past stirs me up.
Makes me feel pain like I havn´t for some time.
Opens my fears to me again.
Suddenly they are present.
They seem to be real, now.
I am so afraid, everything is turning in my head.
My heart is thumping hard, it´s painful.
My eyes tear constantly.
They burn like fire.
I feel numb.
Every move is agony.
My sleep is uneasy.
My dreams intense and disturbing.

I dreamt ……
Dreamt, that my memories
aren´t true,
just a story made up.

I dreamt ……
Dreamt, that my love,
doesn´t love me,
he suffers.

I dreamt ……
Dreamt, that my children
despise me
because of my mistakes.

I dreamt ……
Dreamt, that friends
just drop me like a stone,
as so often before.

I dreamt ……
Dreamt, that family and friends
put me on the side track.
I´m too difficult.

I dreamt ……
Dreamt, that people
read my thoughts
and laugh at me.

I dreamt ……
Dreamt, that the people in my memories
notice themselves in my writing
and expose everything as lies.

I dreamt ……
Dreamt, that I do wrong
to those who say they love me,
hurt them.

I dreamt ……
Dreamt, that specialists
read my thoughts
and reveal I´m insane.

I dreamt ……
Dreamt, that these specialists
come
and take my children.

I dreamt ……
Dreamt, that I
fail
as wife, mother and friend.

I dreamt ……
Dreamt, that these
thoughts and pains
never stopp.

I dreamt ……
Dreamt, what could happen?
I could wake up and realize
it wasn´t a dream, it is reality.

  • Cheryl Fugate

    Cheryl Fugate

    DIGGING IN YOUR PAST WILL STILL ALOT OF EMOTIONS UP …. BUT ITS TAKES ALOT OF COURAGE TO FACE THEM, AND IT LOOKS LIKE YOUR DOING A GREAT JOB DOING SO .... LOVE THIS WRITE …. :)

  • en-joy replied

    Thank you!

  • gemini63

    gemini63

    You are doing well in facing these demons and releasing it in your wrting I hope you are finding it helps
    This is 1 friend who will certainly not side track you
    OK smile time :)))))))))

  • en-joy replied

    Lovely comment, thanks!!!

  • autumnwind

    autumnwind

    writing is a great outlet, so please keep writing. did you ever think of thinking of all the good qualities in you, and writing about that? you’d be surprised to see how many great things there are about you. give it a try because we all need someone to remind us of our beauty. I see yours. You cannot hide it. hugs to you, shar xoxoxo

  • en-joy replied

    No, havn´t thought of it and wouldn´t know what to write at the moment!
    Maybe when I feel better. I´ll keep it in mind! Thanks.

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