In this office, there are four people. They are far too professional for names, so we will just call them “Number 1”, “Number 2”, Number 3", and “Number 4”. What many people do not know is that this office is actually a front for some sort of generic bad guy organisation. If an evil genius needs some henchmen who are somewhere between nameless grunts and the main characters, this is the place they call. They have names, they may even have some backstory in the spin-off novels, but they are utterly dispensable. On this exact day, numbers one, three and four were in the office, while number two had lost a game of tiddlywinks and thus had been made to go to the shop for some lunch. Usually, they would all have gone, but it was very rainy outside, and the weather forecast said it could be stormy overnight. It was one of those days where, even at mid-day, it felt like night, as the heavy clouds obscured the sun’s rays. There was no noise but the lashings of rain on the window, and the ticking of the clock. The atmosphere seemed to prohibit conversation. Suddenly, the phone on the wall let out a shrill ring. All three hitmen stood still for a moment, until number 3, the only woman of the four, dashed forward to pick it up. “Hello?” “Hallo. Vis is Baron Von Teemee,” a voice replied, with a heavy accent. Teemee had been a recurring employer of the group, and his contact could mean only one thing. Blunt. Every time Baron Von Teemee tried to take over the world, he was stopped by a British secret agent called James Blunt. On the last mission, he had even managed to kill Number 5, using a poisonous hamster. “I need yoor assistance to help me steal a nuclar vepon from ze moon” “Very well. We will be with you shortly,” number 3 said, her voice void of emotions. How exactly they traveled to Baron Von Teemee’s space lab in space is not quite known, but they did. The laboratory itself was a dome-shaped structure, made entirely of cold white metal and glass, but inside was one of the most amazing simian collections in the solar system; trees were joined directly onto the metal base to provide homes and playthings for the hundred-odd chimpanzees inhabiting the place. Due to the lack of gravity, feces floated freely around the dome, and would be gobbled up by a collection of air-breathing fish high above where the mammals could be bothered floating. In the centre of the dome was a circular desk, in the centre of which sat Baron Von Teemee, a man who had once tried to destroy the world, but then realised that meant killing his beloved monkeys. “I like monkeys,” he said, as he noticed the arrival of the four office workers. “We know,” replied number 1, the unelected leader of the group. “Do you have any details we need to know before we take on James Blunt?” “Very little,” the Baron admitted, “but ve are currently in ze part vere Blunt loses faith in his organisation and decides to try to fight the bad guys on his own,” “I see. Now would be the best time to take him on.” “Yes. I already have a zuper-powered shimpanzee, so yoo are zust der for a beet of action before the finale,” The four nodded. “I has arranged a teleporter to take you to Avrica, where the enemy is vight now,” The office workers stepped into the ring together. Rows of lights span around them, accelerating, and the air around them grew thinner, and then… POOF!