Life On The Bench

EmeraldSun
Author: EmeraldSun
Word Count: 411
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I cannot walk
As others do-
My body will
Not allow it.
To my chair I mostly sit,
Frustration and despair
Compound it!

I watch as others
Jog, play fetch-
Go running with their dogs;
Like I once did.
It seems so long ago.

I used to swim,
Yes, very well-
every single summer.
Now on oxygen I
Feel restrained—
Like a horse,
I’m tethered.

I pondered for a while.
Why am I now this way?
I have grandchildren
Who want their grandma
To run, swing, and play.

Wondering if God had a plan for me
To alter my perception,
Of life, of love, priorities
The impact made me falter.

Am I who I thought I was?
Am I now anew?
If I am to carry on-
What am I first to do?
Thinking…................

First I am to get around!
That fact alone, quite clear.
I had to reconcile my thoughts
Of what I’d always feared.

The loss of my abilities
To care for my own needs.
That realization alone
Is something that most people
Give little to no heed.

After months of great uncertainty
I had lost some self respect.
Dependent, scared at all and any
Thoughts of past regrets.

My doctor’s kind words
From her lips were
Soothing and deliberate.
“Out is where you need to be.
Sunshine’s the solution!”
“Let’s get a ‘chariot’ for you.”
She said, with firm resolution.

“From where you sit
Your world will gain
A difference—you’ll see.
A glimpse of what others
cannot even find to be.”

My ‘chariot’ arrived weeks later-
After all had been fitted.
‘Twas so beautiful a
Site to see, my joy felt
Truly so requited.

I got in my ruby ride of freedom-
Drove so carefully.
The wind in my hair-
The sun on my back-
I raised my eyes up, crying-
And to God I said, “Thanks”.

Now, quite a shutter bug I am,
After dusting off my old lens.
I learned to cut, paste, and crop.
It seems to never end!

Alone, despondent, I am no more-
Life is a brand new repetuare-
Awaiting me to just roll along
and explore.

Life, I found, is not just golden-
But silver, as well.
God so loved the world
That all our futures
We could not foretell.

Because of His love,
I truly am so blessed
With the ability to see,
The world now a second way.
In awe that was unforeseen.

  • stephaniek

    stephaniek

    AMEN!!!! Wonderful work and insight Bea!!!!!

  • EmeraldSun replied

    Thanks so greatly. It comes from my own experiences-so what more can I say?! Glad to share it.-—Hugggzz— Bea :D

  • Donna Adamski

    Donna Adamski

    Wow Bea…Truly awesome…God does have plans for you. Love it and you! BIG HUZZZZZ

  • EmeraldSun replied

    Thanks, my great friend! My life is truly in His hands. Hugzzzz Back at ya, girl!—- Bea :D

  • Pat Yager

    Pat Yager

    Thank you, Bea, for being so open and honest with your feelings, and for expressing them so beautifully for the rest of us to see and appreciate! ALL of us have some infirmity – some of them are more obvious to others while some are known only to each person, but still must be dealt with on a daily basis. I think of this particularly when I remember many years ago when I had to decide if I would abort my unborn baby when the doctors discovered something terribly wrong with its chromosomes. They told me he could have horrible disfigurement, etc., etc. I said to the Lord, “How can I tell you that you’ve made a terrible mistake, and I’m going to fix it for you?” Bottom line – I kept the baby. He’s now grown into a man in his 30’s. He has a heart for God like few I’ve ever known. The reward of obedience to Him in that instance. A huge thank you, Bea, for sharing what God has taught you through this new circumstance in your life. And already, even through what you’ve written above, you’re encouraging others! See? He doesn’t make mistakes! Your friend, Pat

  • EmeraldSun replied

    Dearest Pat: Ii want to thank you so much for your wonderful, powerful words on my piece. It meant so much to read that today as I logged on to RB. I am so honored to know that someone understands what I’ve written. I am also happiest if it is true that others could take my life on paper and see that there is hope, and yes, no mistakes. God has a plan, we do not always realize it’s intent-but then, we’re not supposed to. It will show forth in the end.— Again, as I have said so often-“Life is a hiway”. --—-God Bless You and thank you for visiting my little world on Red Bubble. It’s a fantastic place to be!-—- Bea :D)

  • Rosalie Scanlon

    Rosalie Scanlon

    Great piece Bea, so well said and understood.

  • EmeraldSun replied

    Thank you so much for the wonderful comment. I’m so very glad it was a good piece and got my view across. It’s hard to tell at times when one crosses the line with too much personal reality. BIG HUGGGGGGZZZZZ—- Bea :D)

  • Mary Campbell

    Mary Campbell

    I have a friend who’s wheel chair bound, and also a wonderful artist. MS the cause of her illness yet she still paints better than I. It makes you wonder what his plans were..

  • EmeraldSun replied

    Yes, I understand soooooo well! I am not bitter or even depressed about it, most days-Ii think God gave me a different perspective to enjoy on purpose.-And It gave me a new life to enjoy in SO many different ways.-Others just do not always understand it, or act appropriately unfortunately. As a nurse, it showed me the other end of the stick, so to speak-one I already had great compassion for. Hugzzzz—-Bea :D)

  • RosaCobos

    RosaCobos

    So… I can see..
    the facts are talking through your poetic intrudaction. Now a litte more of yourself, and needed to see who was that soul that cried from so far away, with a different light… and I was in the certain thought… You are.. here… and came near… and we have met.
    Yes… I am a grandma, but I should thank the days I live with body whole and means and strength.
    Love the way you tell us about something unique.. and seemingly likely to others… but you have speeded and flown in your wheeling chair of emerald suns. I know see.. that all the seas and fields have been condensed in the first ray of sun that you suddenly could feel,
    after a time of despair and brooding emotions.
    Technology is something good… when used with soul…
    this is the proof.
    Hope we will meet for a while.
    You are a great and brave woman, Bea…
    Wth love
    Rosa

  • EmeraldSun replied

    God Bless You for your lovely, embracing words and encouragement! I cannot even begin to tell you how much it really means to me, personally. I am glad to show myself inside & out to others. I am …just-Me. A person with feelings and love for others every where! I have met so many wonderful new friends her at Red Bubble-and It has provided Therapy, physical and emotionally beyond comprehension! I am so happy to be able to express myself and have always wanted to for many years-BUT never took the time too. I know know the timing was not right. God teaches me more every day.-Hugzz & so nice to meet you!—Bea :D))XXXX

  • RosaCobos

    RosaCobos

    Hi Bea… I am moderator of the Nirvana group… I would love you to join and submmit this precious testimony. I moderate the writing section… and I really would love to have you there…with us.Have a warm hug.
    Rosa

  • EmeraldSun replied

    Thanks so greatly for your very kind words & invitation! I am so sorry it took so long to get to this and I will certainly be honored to join your group and submit this. It is a story of life, love, uncertainty, and rebirth-as well as self-renewal. Warmest hugzzz back to you!—Bea :D))XXXXX

  • trisha22

    trisha22

    Hi Bea…I see and hear so much of me in what you have written. I was put on oxygen about 7 yrs. ago. I also have to have my son give me a treatment that is keeping me alive because I have no immune system. I won’t go on; there is too much. But you opened your heart and your feelings to everyone. And only those who have “gone through something” or are going through it as I am now, will understand and appreciate your words. They are words that will encourage each one and show them that no matter what, we can be happy. And we are never too old or sick for God to use. That was one I had to learn..thanks for your words. I pray they reach so many people. trisha

  • EmeraldSun replied

    Dearest Trisha: First off: God Bless You and keep you safe and make you whole again, health-wise.-Spiritually-I believe you are totally there! Thanks so much for your wonderful words of compassion and understanding. It is so very true-you never really understand until you are there. It’s amazing how much you actually “see” from a different perspective when your life is altered! I really think God has a plan for everyone and ALL things. We just have to be willing to let it shine and abide by it. So happy if any of my poetry has helped you at all. It makes me feel great to think it did make a difference for anyone. Hugzzzzzz to you!—-Bea :D))XXXX

  • Lisa Roberts

    Lisa Roberts

    It is obvious that this was written from the heart Bea and I’m glad you have found a new lease of life now.
    Lisa x

  • EmeraldSun replied

    Thanks so very, very much, Lisa! I truly appreciate the wonderful comment!!—Hugzzz—Bea :D))XXXXX

  • RosaCobos

    RosaCobos

    Thank you for posting it…. we need your energy Bea…
    Absolutely.
    Have a warm hug.
    Rosa

  • EmeraldSun replied

    Your so welcome-I am honored to share this piece with your wonderful group and everyone in it!-Hugz Back--:D))XXXX—Bea

  • RosaCobos

    RosaCobos

    For using your soul resources like a miracle for us all,
    you deserve it, Bea…
    Rosa

  • EmeraldSun replied

    OMGOSH!!!!!-Thank YOU SO VERY, VERY MUCH!!!! This has brought me to tears of JOY!!! I just feel so VERY honored. Thank you all so Very much!!!!! God Bless You &Peace Be With You!-Hugzzzzz—Bea :D))XXXXXXXXXXXXX

  • EDGYONE

    EDGYONE

    BEA I’AM ALSO HONORED TO BE FEATURED ALONG SIDE SUCH A BEAUTIFUL,BEAUTIFUL MASTERPIECE THAT YOU HAVE WRITTEN HERE YOUNG LADY.I AM SO HUMBLED,...............BUT THRILLED!! I LOOK FORWARD TO READING MORE OF YOUR WORKS OF ART,RANDY

  • EmeraldSun replied

    Randy, my dear, Thanks so VERY much! It is an honor to be featured alongside the wonderful, talented person you are, also! Your work is amazing! I imagine we’ll be seeing each other quite a bit around “this block”. LOL!!! Glad to get to know you!—Hugzz—Bea :D))XX

  • marieangel

    marieangel

    ive only just joined this wonderful group and this very moment I have realised why please accept my love light and highest Reiki healing Marie ANGELXX0X0

  • EmeraldSun replied

    Awwwwwwww-Thanks so much, Marie!! I really appreciate it! The groups on RB are grand and very special to me, personally! I have made such progress within myself by participating in these groups and submitting my writting, AND images. I learn how to cope more and more every day with being disabled. For a long time I was pretty sensitive about it. MUCH Thanks for the love light. Many Hugz back to you!!—Bea :D))XXXXXXX

  • Diana-Lee Saville

    Diana-Lee Saville

    Hi Bea!!! This is beautiful!!! I am so happy you have your chariot and your loverly little sausage dog!!! Keep on writing and taling those loverly photos :))

  • EmeraldSun replied

    Thanks so sweetly, Dianna-Lee! I really appreciate it! Thanks so much for the cutest of graphics, also!!! SO SWEET!—HUgzzz—Bea :D))XXXXXXXXXXX

  • marieangel

    marieangel

    youre welcome Bea keep em comingx

  • EmeraldSun replied

    Thanks so much. It’s friends like you here at RB that make my days (And nights)! God Bless You!-Hugz—Bea :D))XXXXX

  • Cee Neuner

    Cee Neuner

    Absolutely awesome writing. You are one strong and lucky lady!!! Keep shooting pictures….I so enjoy seeing them :D

  • EmeraldSun replied

    Thanks so very much, Cee! I am so thankful for your wonderful comments! I am addicted to RB pictures, writing and ALL!! It is so nice to get to know a lot of you all. God Bless You!—Hugz—Bea :D))XXXXX

  • Nancy Chambers

    Nancy Chambers

    9/21/09
    So touching…

  • EmeraldSun replied

    OMGOSH!!! THANK YOU soooooooo VERY MUCH!!! I am so honored and thrilled!! Thank you from the depths of my heart!—Hugz—Bea :D))XXXXX

  • Scott d'Almeida

    Scott d'Almeida

    great words

  • EmeraldSun replied

    THANX EMMENCELY, Scott!!—Hugzzz—Bea :D))XXXXXX

  • bdazzled

    bdazzled

    Congratulations on your feature Bea. This is very moving to read.
    I know what you are talking about. I only have to look at my darling boy.
    My heart goes out to you and I send you all my love :o)

  • EmeraldSun replied

    Thank you so very much, Kira! God Bless you for your ability to understand and step aside to see me as others in my condition for the real people that we are. BIG HUGZZZZZZZZ—-Bea :D))XXXXXXXXX

  • ellcot

    ellcot

    Beautifully expressed!

  • EmeraldSun replied

    Thank you VERY much! I am honored by your wonderful comment!—Hugz-Bea :D))XXXXX

  • wutz4tea

    wutz4tea

    Wow, Bea! How beautiful this is!! I can really relate….I can’t do what I once could either…fibromyalgia and osteoarthritis…but to be accepting things as they are and moving forward inspite of infirmities is super courageous…way to go Bea! Congratulations on your feature!!xoxo

  • EmeraldSun replied

    Thanks so VERY much! I really appreciate it!!It has been a little difficult, BUT, God has been graceous to me and helped me gain a much different perspective on a lot of things that now mean so much more. IN a way, It was a Gift of sorts.—HUgzzzzzz-Bea :D))XXXXXXX

  • 3XEternity

    3XEternity

  • EmeraldSun replied

    Thank you so EXTREMELY!!!—I am FLABERGASTED & EXTREMELY honored!-THANK YOU!!--Bea XX (EmeraldSun)

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