empty faces, blank trains

I hope you’re chugging, streaming and roaring to a place filled with colour.
Beautiful in it’s bleakness. Nice job Elucidate

Was on a train yesterday….not my usual m.o. ......this was a reminder of some of those around me…at one stage it was so quiet with no-one talking…..I thought ” Shit if someone speaks now it will be like an explosion amongst all this sullen silence” ......I really should of said hello to someone…the thought only just occurred to me right now….Next time ..XX

Chilling. So elegant writing, Jordan.

i like the way you put finding yourself in to this peom. very good

Soul train to Oblivion! WoW what powerful words friend! Outstanding!!!...)o(

knock me down, blow me over! Wow! I especially appreciated how the ending brought it all together.

to stand among them is a honor

Wow….a lot of things just went through my mind as I was reading this.
I can’t even begin to describe what I felt when I read this…so haunting and chilling, from an emotional point of view. But it’s also so thought-provoking, for me at least. You have described human existence. I mean, the people on the train are weary and obviously “old”....for me this translates into old ways of thinking,or old ways of living, routine, repeating the same things over and over, not really getting anywhere with how they’re living. And yet they fear change and the future…because it’s the unknown. So do they know they’re “stuck?” Do they feel the meaninglessness of their lives as fear grips them?
Well this are some of the things that went through my mind when I read this. Don’t know if this was your message…or your purpose for writing this. But I feel like this poem is open to interpretation. There’s so many things you can draw out from here.

Also love the imagery…it was like a classic black and white movie. This also reminded me of an old poem I wrote a long time ago “Monochromatic System.” Remember that one?

Well, didn’t mean to write so much! :D Interesting, and haunting poem, my friend. Love how you write your thoughts out. :)

“the train is full
destination – unknown
the people are weary
i stand among them”

This is a fantastic poem Jords. It brought forward so many thoughts and feelings for me, and I found that it’s one of those poems that can be left open entirely to personal interpretation…
Being in London I finally understand. I’m starting to see people in a different way. I’m trying to grasp what being human means and trying to comprehend our reasons for being here. This poem is exactly what I have been thinking and feeling lately. Are we destined to just grow old and empty? weary? Grey? We certainly look it… Or is this just how we have ended up? And if so, why? Surely we are more creative, more magical, more inspiring than this?
I feel that I need to figure this out because, as much as I am driven mad by this way of life, I stand amoung the crowd, I am a part of it, and I refuse to allow my colour to seep from my flesh and my mind. I will not give in to becoming another blank and empty ‘compartment’.There is too much grey in this world already.

This projects a feeling of melancholy and resignation Jordan, It feels down and unsettling. Beautifully written though.