Faith, Hope, Love. I’ve lost the living to death – two babies, a son-in-law, my grandmother. And each time, I hurt a deep hurt that cannot even be expressed in words. I’ve wondered how people get through such pain if they don’t believe there is an afterlife – a beautiful heavenly city where our loved ones will meet us at the gate. I know it has been my solace.
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………. I’m not a stodgy, no-fun Christian. Just ask my kindergarten class! I can party with the best of them – just give me a juice box, cookies, and twenty-six five-year-olds!! I believe Christ died to rise again. The emphasis is on life, not death. I choose to focus on the two beautiful daughters that I carried to term and who have given birth to grandchildren. I choose to focus on loving my kindergarteners until my bucket is empty each day, because certainly, some of them rarely find love elsewhere. I choose to love my husband who treats me as Christ loved the church – pouring his love into me day after day. And when it is done, when I smile at my grandchildren one last time, I will go to a better place … a place where my grandmother will greet me at the gate, holding my lost babies in her arms. That is my faith. That is my hope. That is my source of love.
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………….. I thought a long time about writing such a personal and intimate explanation of my collage of paintings. I know some will think I am a disillusioned woman who needs a crutch. And that’s okay. It’s not a crutch; it’s a cross. And I lean on it heavily. I have found that it’s better to be open with my faith. Part of tolerance is that I respect you. And your part is to respect my belief in return. Let me lean. Love me anyway. Perhaps even lean with me. Faith, hope, love … that’s what scripture teaches and that’s what my collage of paintings represents. That verse continues, “But the greatest of these is love.” I’m leaning.
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………….. Love isn’t always easy. My kindergarteners aren’t perfect. My wonderful husband isn’t even perfect. So I lean. I lean on that cross, grab that grandbaby’s hand, and put my heart in my hands to give away, day after day. And with that, I find joy.