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15″ × 15″ Mixed oil and acrylic on canvas.

As I look at a table filled with glasses
Not a coaster in sight
I realize, it doesn’t faze me
Not anymore
I’m not sure when it became “OK”
Ok, to see the stains on the carpet
They’ve become part of the pattern
It’s hard to tell if they’re stains or flowers
Maybe it’s my eyesight
Failing as I get older.
But I do see it
I see it all
I see the piles of laundry
In a mountain of dirty and clean
There is no separation
So we just grab what smells ok
And rewash what seems to be wrinkled
Beyond recognition
It becomes a ridiculous game trying to match the socks
I think about putting an add on match dot com,
Desperately seeking single tan polyester sock,
All others need not apply.
Then there’s the issue of the fur.
My cats seem to have a factory
Making fur is a constant production.
It floats like clouds
A constant breeze at floor level
Keeps the fur moving like ghosts in and out of sight.
I start to imagine
Families of rats hidden in corners
Knitting sweaters for their young
The fur is so readily available
It must seem like a wonderful store to them.
When I finally have a moment to do something,
I collect what I can manage of the fur remnants
For a second I feel guilty.
Will the rats have enough?
Maybe I should put what’s left out for the birds.

When did it change?
I wonder……

I remember the look in my sister’s eyes
She warned me not to set out on a quest for perfection
She warned me that the act of pleasing
Would never end
It was a burden I would carry
A heavy burden she would say (all knowing)
And even though she was only 8 years older,
I could see how it was wearing on her
You’ll try to put it down she would tell me,
Over and over,
But perfection is hard to put down
I heard her words, but didn’t heed them,
I remembered the love
Shining like diamonds
In my parent’s eyes
When I pleased them
Nothing else seemed to matter.
But even then as they looked at me
With proud smiles
I knew that I would have to turn around
Turn around and face the enemy camp
My other siblings were right behind me
My quest for perfection made them look bad
They would sneer and throw daggers
That pierced my heart
Even when I started to understand
How impossible it would be to keep up with it
I carried on
I carried perfection into adult hood.

As the years passed,
I took pride in this impossible task
Perfection as an adult meant
You were a juggler of knives
People were always amazed at my skill
I could throw at least 10 in the air at a time.
Juggling and juggling as my friends looked on
They would even ask me to teach them
So I did, but that added another knife,
I didn’t care,
I knew what I was doing.

The first time I dropped a knife I ignored it
I didn’t get cut and no one seemed to notice
But soon all of the knives would start to fall
Cut after cut, I would pick them up again
It was the most difficult time of my life
With every knife I dropped,
I was handed two more
They lay on the floor around my feet
Now and then I was able to pick a few up again.
Juggling and juggling
For the first time I understood
How one could find themselves out on the street
With out a home, with out a job
They were all people who stopped juggling.
At least that’s what I thought….so…I kept juggling.

At one point I didn’t care anymore
I had to stop.
The exhaustion was overwhelming.
I finally let go.
The knives lay at my feet
A reminder of every failure in my life.
I sat there for days waiting for the doorbell to ring
I knew someone would surely show up and take my life away.
I would lose my family
And everything I held dear.
But as days turned into months,
I realized
No one was coming.
God was not going to send the anticipated bolt of lighting.
And every day that the sun rose up into the sky,
I realized I had a chance to keep going.
Not to juggle, but to just move forward.

Those days are hazy in my memory,
But I do remember moments.
I remember the amazing silence.
I sat for hours on the couch,
Just listening to the soft snore of my cats
When I ate, food tasted better.
When I sent a note to a friend,
They seemed to know not to expect anything else from me.
It was a revelation.
I couldn’t believe that my world didn’t end.
Everyone around me just seemed to accept what I could give.
They didn’t ask for more, because I wasn’t offering.
And then one day I noticed….with a little excitement
That I didn’t mind if the glasses remained on the table
A little longer then they needed to.
I noticed that the rings made a beautiful design.
They added texture to and otherwise boring surface,
I didn’t mind the piles of magazines
Or the mountain of laundry.
I knew I would get to it someday.
For the first time I realized that life would go on
With out perfection…
Just one day at a time
With one foot forward…
As days go by, I see a tee shirt everywhere I go
It seems like an ironic note from God
“Life is good”
I know he’s telling me to remember….
No matter what “Life is good”

Traditional, Digital & Photographic Artist
E L I Z A B E T H B R A V O
I am inspired by everything in life.
Nature, landscape, city life and more.
Over 25 years as a flight attendant has let me see life from every angle. On the road my camera and Mac are my constant companions. At home, it’s hard to find me with out a paint brush in hand.
No matter what, as long as I am creating I am content.
Thanks for viewing my work!!

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Comments

  • Kate Purdy
    Kate Purdyover 5 years ago

    Wonderful art and prose…yes, life is good!

  • Thank you Kate……I’m so happy that you stopped by and Thanks for viewing and reading my work, it’s very much appreciated:)))) thanks for the comment!

    – Elizabeth Bravo

  • Lynn Moore
    Lynn Mooreover 5 years ago

    Amazing work!

  • Thank you Lynn, I’m so glad you like it!!

    – Elizabeth Bravo

  • linaji
    linajiover 5 years ago

    I remembered the love
    Shining like diamonds
    In my parent’s eyes
    When I pleased them
    Nothing else seemed to matter.

    This part of your exquisite verse brought me such joy and appreciation for this image you created along with understanding the entire verse as a whole. Profoundly true this journey you brought us on.. like out of the book of Revelations.. what a treasure you are Elizabeth… Your work is a constant flux of photo still lifes (laundy being my most fav subject) to this glorious≈ metallic feeling piece.
    Now .. I experience such a lifting of my spirits and my sense of discovery when i read your prose.. can you please join our goup? I hope so.. this work is like a landmark piece for the journey of ‘this’ artists soul anyway.. your a master at seeing life in all it’s splendor simplicity to the complexities of whence the ‘change or the shift’ of our focus happens.. and we create yet again!! i am thrilled to have known you while I have been on the Bubble.. you never cease to influence my work. here is our blog..I hope you join it would be an honor

  • Lina, you totally made my week with your wonderful kindness and compliment of this piece. I have been holding it and working to find the words for a while now…….a struggle with a member here on redbubble brought some clarity to what I wanted to say. So I was relieved to get it all out. I do think it’s a journey that many will relate to…….we forget about that when we try to hold it all in. So thank you…..and I am honored to join your group…..I didn’t know of your group or I would have been there by now to be certain…..to many to keep up with I guess. You and so many others here also inspire me……so thank you Lina…….your words are so much appreciated.
    xxxxooooo

    – Elizabeth Bravo

  • Tadoette
    Tadoetteover 5 years ago

    great art!

  • Thank you so much…..so nice of you to stop by. I appreciate the comment:)))

    – Elizabeth Bravo

  • Joanne  Bradley
    Joanne Bradleyover 5 years ago

    I am blown away both visually and with words! Love the strong bright bold abstract! And the journey you wrote resonates with me as I am a former control freak that has learned to live with a less than perfect world and one that is certainly not ordained by me! And since I learned to do that, I have sometimes found peace….. What a poignant journey to share with us!

  • Joanne, Thank you so much, you are always so kind and I’m glad to know that it touched you. I’m glad to know that others can relate. I don’t think I really realized just how far I had come until I wrote it all down. It was a writing that gave me pause before hitting the publish button…..thanks for reading it……and thanks for the wonderful comment.

    – Elizabeth Bravo

  • Mary Ann Reilly
    Mary Ann Reillyover 5 years ago

    bravo. bravo.
    The art makes me cry. Elizabeth: both the painting and the poem.

    Love the lines:

    She warned me that the act of pleasing
    Would never end
    It was a burden I would carry…
    But perfection is hard to put down

    The poem is so poignant. Thank you.

  • Mary Ann……thank you so much for the kind words…..I appreciate the support here more than you know…..and I’m thrilled that you liked it and more than touched by your wonderful compliment:)))))xxoo

    – Elizabeth Bravo

  • hsien-ku
    hsien-kuover 5 years ago

    really lovely painting!

  • Thank you so much for stopping by to comment….I appreciate it!

    – Elizabeth Bravo

  • Jack Grace
    Jack Graceover 5 years ago

    I love this Elizabeth, makes me happy that I am retired from knife juggling, well maybe the occasional butter knife still.

  • I am so glad to know that others have put down their knives…..and I would agree that I do look into that butter knife drawer a bit my self……thanks for making me smile…..and the wonderful comment!

    – Elizabeth Bravo

  • carolsuzanne
    carolsuzanneover 5 years ago

    I love this painting! I love the writing! How talented you are! CS

  • Thank you so much Carol……What a kind comment…..glad you like it:)))

    – Elizabeth Bravo

  • Richard G Witham
    Richard G Withamover 5 years ago

    Wonderful work Elizabeth. The image is amazing all on its own, but the added prose style poetry is also an amazing work of art that is full of life and realness. To me it’s a tribute to not-taking-yourself-so-damn-seriously and to appreciation of the yin with the yang. You’ve described a state of Zen that can take years to accomplish when your striving for it … so much easier to stumble into it.

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